8 blame-shifting strategies manipulators use to make you look like the bad guy
Have you ever been baffled about how some people always seem to avoid taking responsibility for their actions? Well, firstly, these are no ordinary people. These are experienced manipulators that know exactly what to do and say to put the blame for their own mistakes on someone else.
When a manipulator gets confronted about their unethical behavior, they do whatever it takes to escape from being held accountable. But how do they always present themselves to be so innocent, even when they have clearly done something wrong and hurt someone terribly?
Here are 8 ways manipulators shift the blame and make you look like the villain:
1. They use drama to their own advantage.
Manipulators know precisely how bad to dramatize things in order to avoid being held accountable for their wrongdoings. By playing with your empathetic nature, they can make you believe they never wanted to hurt you, even though this was exactly what they aimed for.
2. They constantly bring up the past.
Whenever a manipulator senses they are losing the argument, they quickly find a way to link the situation to a mistake you’ve made in the past. By digging up bones, they shift your focus from the present situation and avoid taking responsibility for their actions. What is more, if you fail to see their intentions, they might even convince you that you were the one who pushed them into misbehaving.
3. They ignore the facts.
People with highly manipulative and controlling personalities often ignore the truth. And in the case they cannot ignore it, they twist the facts so that they can benefit from the situation. Nevertheless, whenever you try to confront them and tell things as they are, they would most probably accuse you of being absolutely irrational.
4. They play the victim card.
Whenever things get heated up, and there is nothing else they can do, manipulators usually play the role of the victim. They prey on your compassionate nature to gain your sympathy. This way, you might get caught up in the moment and forget how much they have hurt you, only to let them hurt you again.
5. They get aggressive when things don’t go as planned.
Manipulators, especially those having narcissistic traits, always want to be the center of attention. They want to be seen, heard, and obeyed, which gives them a sense of superiority they cannot live without. But if you try to defy them, they can rapidly become defensive and ready to attack. With their back against the wall, they would even use aggression to convince you of their false rightfulness.
6. They gaslight their victims.
Gaslighting is one of the most common strategies manipulators use to deceive their prey. In order to make you highly vulnerable to their manipulation, they do whatever it takes to get you o a point where you question your own memory, feelings, and perceptions. In case you try to oppose them, they would make you believe it’s all in your head. This type of mental abuse is so dangerous that it can make a fragile person distrust their own sanity.
7. They employ blame-shifting in every situation possible.
A manipulator’s biggest goal is to remain unrevealed. That is exactly why they use any opportunity possible to avoid taking the blame for their own actions. Whenever you directly confront them for a mistake they have made, they lash out and blame you for forcing them to take a wrong turn.
8. They manipulate the people around you.
Some manipulators are so controlling that when they realize you don’t fall for their games, they move their focus onto the ones around you. In some extreme cases, they are capable of turning your friends and family against you. They would befriend the people in your inner circle, and as soon as they win their trust, they would throw shade on you, making you look like the bad guy.