Narcissists and the evil art of Blame-Shifting

Narcissistic, controlling, toxic people are everywhere around us.

But their dire personality traits are not the worst thing about them. The worst thing about these indecent beings is that they can be incredibly hard to identify. Sometimes, until you figure out you have been dealing with a narcissist, they have already caused irreparable damage that will haunt you throughout the rest of your days.

Unfortunately, many of us have experienced the emotional struggle of being caught in a toxic person’s manipulative trap. When it comes to romantic relationships, having a controlling narcissist as a partner can be detrimental to anyone’s mental health. Usually, such types of people intentionally have you walking on eggshells, make you doubt your self-worth, and force you into making compromises with your personal moral values. To achieve full control over your mind, they use various evil strategies for emotional manipulation. Blame-shifting is amongst the most destructive ones.

What does blame-shifting do to your fragile mind? 

Blame-shifting is a strategy manipulators use when they are worried their victim might reveal their true intentions. They usually do it to avoid taking responsibility for their own mistakes. By using their prey’s insecurities, narcissists ingeniously escape the possibility of being directly confronted.

For instance, if such a manipulative person is being caught cheating, they would try their best to convince their partner that it was not their fault. They would claim that they never received enough attention or that their relationship was having serious issues for a long time. In other words, they would hold their significant other responsible for pushing them into cheating on them due to the problems they had in the past.

If their partner has a kind heart and a forgiving nature, they might choose to close their eyes and put up with the betrayal, thinking this would save their doomed relationship. And if they refuse to disregard the situation, the narcissist would lash out and claim they are overreacting or making an unnecessary scene. Hopefully, this scenario does not sound familiar to you. But if it does, then you definitely know how hard getting out of such a nasty situation with a sane mind could be.

How to deal with blame-shifting?

According to Psych Central, ‘blame-shifting’ is a term originally coined in 1936. It represents a self-defense mechanism in which a person assigns their own unwanted thoughts, feelings, or motives onto another person.

People showing evident narcissistic traits often use this type of self-defense. In a bid to avoid having their reputation ruined and their intentions revealed, they project their own fears, insecurities, and imperfections to others. Thus, blame-shifting becomes a “very common psychological abuse tactic against the psychological abuser’s target.”

To deal with such emotional abuse, you need to find a way to get out of the situation as quickly as possible. Instead of looking for logical reasons behind the narcissist’s behavior, look for a safe place, both mentally and physically, where their toxic influence would not be able to reach you.

Once you have distanced yourself from the manipulative trap you were a victim of, get in touch with the people in your life who love and care for you. A decent support system is crucial when it comes to mind-healing.

Next, remind yourself that you are not responsible for someone else’s irrational behavior. You are not to blame for someone else’s insecurities. And you should not be held accountable for someone else’s mistakes.

While being exposed to an experienced manipulator’s toxic influence can be deeply traumatizing, never forget that you are stronger than that!

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