Every long-term relationship could be a double-edged sword.
And there is one simple reason for that. Sadly, most of us take the other person’s feelings for granted at a particular stage of the relationship and we live with the idea that there’s no need to put much effort into strengthening the bond between our partner and us. The truth is however, that we have to show our love and affection to each other all the time if we want our long-term relationship to last forever.
But how to do that?
“The best way to recapture that spark is to start doing fun/novel things together again,” says Bill Chopik= He is an assistant professor of psychology at Michigan State University, to Bustle. “Even the most entrenched/bored couples would be surprised by how quickly they start enjoying their relationships again!”
And that’s not all.
To help you keep the feelings in your relationships alive, I have outlined seven things that you should do every day. Check them out below:
1. Try to create the emotional attraction
One of the most efficient ways to create emotional attraction and become even closer to your partner is to use your five senses and body language. For instance, you could show through the tone of your voice the feelings you have for your significant other. Another very popular way to express affection and make the other person feel loved and fall for you is to give him or her a tender touch.
Interestingly maintaining eye contact with your loved person for a longer time and feeling at ease about it is also a strong sign of love. Furthermore, it could have a hugely positive influence on the relationship between the partners.
According to Traci Brown, author of Persuasion Point:
“You’ll be OK looking each other in the eye at close range — just a few inches,” she says to Elite Daily. “That’s uncomfortable to do with people you’re not intimate with.”
So if you meaningfully look at your partner in the eyes for more than just a few seconds, you are creating a closer contact with them.
2. Never take the other person for granted
Another essential thing to remember is to never take your partner for granted. Love is like a flower you have to water every day. That’s why you should find a way to always tell to and more importantly, to show to your significant other how much you care.
“Try to spark joy in your partner’s life every once in a while by randomly surprising them with a little gift or favor you’re doing for them,” dating expert Celia Schweyer, explains in an interview for Bustle.
Here is why you should never underestimate the significance of small gestures of love. Just the other way round – try to make them as often as possible.
3. Pay enough attention to your significant other
Attention is important. Actually, it’s crucial if you want your relationship to last. You won’t ever have anything serious with anyone if you don’t genuinely care about them. Here is why to preserve the closeness and affection between you and your significant other, you need to listen to them and to their problems in the first place. You should also ask and be interested in everything they are going through.
4. Share your life goals with each other
Very often, long-term partners stop talking about their goals and dreams. The reason is that they tend to underestimate the importance of openly sharing things with their significant other. Sadly, the result of such behavior is getting distant from the other person and making the connection you have been building for years less stable.
“Share your life dreams, and work together to make them happen,” relationship counselor Raffi Bilek, LCSW-C, director of the Baltimore Therapy Center, explains to Bustle. “These maybe ideas for the long-term, like buying a house in France or backpacking in the Andes, but that doesn’t mean you can’t discuss them and enjoy the fantasy together.”
5. Talk about the future together
If you want your relationship to be happy and long-lasting, you need to make sure that you and your partner have the same values. The most important thing is that both of you see your future together in the same way.
“Our core values dictate how we view the world and what we see as right or wrong,” Shannon Wiggins, LCSWA, psychotherapist who specializes in marital and family counseling says to Bustle. “Behaving in ways that go against our core values provoke discomfort in us. If being with your partner causes you to go against your core values, sustaining a relationship will be difficult.”
6. Respect your partner’s personal space
Matured individuals are aware that everybody needs personal space and time for themselves to grow,” dating and relationship expert Celia Schweyer, from DatingScout.com, says to Bustle.
It’s extremely important to keep the connection with your partner strong. However, it’s also absolutely necessary that you give him or her enough space to do their own stuff. You shouldn’t abuse anyone else’s personal space, especially when it comes to your closest people.
“This kind of thinking is associated with egocentric behaviors where kids think that the world revolves only around themselves,” Schweyer says. So notice if someone struggles to allow you to do your own thing.
7. Make sure you and your partner have fun with each other
Life can be tough and stressful, so having fun is vital for preserving our emotional balance and energy. That’s why it is important to maintain a relationship which brings you joy and fills your life with nice moments. So be sure to have fun with your partner as often as possible. That is also the opinion of Lauren Cook, MMFT, a clinician practicing emotionally-focused therapy:
“It’s so important to keep laughing with your partner,” Cook says. “Check your ego at the door. And take time just to be silly together.”
These are some of the most important things that partners in every long-term relationship need to do to preserve the closeness and the feelings they have for one another.
But they aren’t by far all that can be done. So, don’t hesitate to share with us what’s your secret for maintaining a healthy and happy relationship with your partner.