Real love is not forcing someone to change, it’s encouraging them to grow
Why is true love do hard to find these days?
This is a question that troubles almost every single person in this world. The truth is, love is not hard to find, as long as we open our eyes and or hearts to see it.
Sadly, in many relationships, the partners are focusing on the things they want to fix in each other. They don’t even think about accepting one another with all their flaws. But these imperfections are what make us unique. And if you truly love someone, you will never force them to change or to completely transform themselves into another person just for you.
Another reason why people find it hard to invite true love in their lives is that they expect it to be always beautiful, mesmerizing, and incredibly fascinating.
Well, love can be all that, but not all the time. Sometimes, love can be tremendously challenging and ugly. Unfortunately, this is one of the truths people hardly ever accept throughout their whole lives. That’s why they believe love is hard to find. They have idealized it for many years, and when it finally knocks on their door, they struggle to recognize it.
If only these people could see that loving someone means to welcome them in your heart with all their weaknesses and fragility.
If only they could understand that everyone is a little broken, a little flawed, a little lonely… And everyone needs to love and to be loved. Maybe then they would realize that love isn’t so hard to find.
Relationships are all about being there for each other and supporting each other through thick and thin. But they should never involve pushing one another or forcing each other to change. If your partner doesn’t want to be changed, you shouldn’t demand them to do so. And in case you cannot accept them without this change, perhaps they shouldn’t be your partner. Some boundaries should never be crossed in a relationship. Forcing your partner to change is one of them.
If you take a moment to think about this, you might see how selfish it would be to ask someone to alter their entire being, just so you can love them. But this wouldn’t be love because love isn’t selfish. It isn’t greedy and self-absorbed, it is exactly the opposite.
Love requires high levels of integrity, empathy, and emotional intelligence.
To love means to admit that no one is perfect and no one will ever be. In a relationship, it means to open your heart not only for the amazing qualities your partner has but also for all the things that make them so real and imperfect. It means to welcome their damaged soul, and stay beside them on their journey to self-growth. Moreover, it means realizing that no one should change only to please someone else. We should change only for the benefit of our own wellbeing.
You don’t want to be in a relationship where your partner loves only some parts of you, do you? You want to be with someone who will see the beauty in you, even when you’re at your worst behavior. And you want this someone to make you feel like home every time you look into their eyes. You crave this feeling of authenticity and pure comfort. Because that’s what real love feels like.
If you’ve already found real love, then you know how amazing it is to be with someone who genuinely accepts all of you.
You know how incredible it is to be loved by someone who doesn’t try to fix you but helps you heal your wounded soul. And if you’re one of the lucky ones, you know there’s nothing better in this world than the feeling of completeness. There is nothing more comforting than feeling like nothing is missing from your life.
Sometimes, love means to see your other half in the peak of a mental breakdown, and knowing exactly what to do to calm them down. It’s listening to them undermining themselves, and saying the right words that make them feel appreciated and treasured. It’s hearing them saying nasty words in the heat of the moment, and knowing they never meant any of that. Yes, it’s not always easy, and it gets quite ugly from time to time, but that’s what makes it real.
If you have someone in your life whom you genuinely love with all of your heart, and they love you back with the same vibrant energy, then you have found something truly special. Make sure you’re always there for them and never force them to change who they are. Love them for it.
