Love is the force that drives everything around us.
Being in a relationship with someone whose deep feelings match with yours is one of the best feelings in this world.
However, you should never allow your partner, regardless of how much they mean to you, to force you into losing your identity.
Oftentimes, as the bond matures, we need to make compromises with our partners in order to keep a healthy balance. However, if the compromises and sacrifices in your relationship are one-sided, you need to do some serious reevaluation. If you continue neglecting your own needs for the sake of your significant other’s welfare, you will eventually lose your identity.
To prevent this from happening, you need to realize that love isn’t about going to infinity and beyond for someone, even if they don’t make the slightest effort. It’s about giving and receiving. It’s about being able to be yourself without fear. To do the things that make you happy without hesitation.
So, if you don’t want to lose your identity in a relationship, here are 6 essential things you need to do:
1. Do things that bring you joy.
The fact that you are in a couple does not imply you cannot have happy moments on your own. You may love your partner with your whole heart, but this doesn’t mean you should give yourself up and ignore your personal needs. Put yourself first sometimes. Do the things you are truly passionate about. Invest some time and energy into self-care. After all, if you are not happy by yourself, you can never be genuinely happy in a relationship. So, doing the things you love is not selfish but necessary.
2. Date yourself for a change.
Spend some of your free time dating yourself. Take yourself out on a brunch. Go shopping on your own. Indulge in some soulsearching by yourself. Focus on your own interests and passions. Whenever you are in your own company, you have the freedom to enjoy life without fearing someone might judge your choices and preferences. Besides, it gives you that quality time you need to rewind and reflect on your own.
3. Don’t lose touch with your friends and family.
Sometimes we allow our partners to take control of our lives and isolate us from our closest people. This way, not only do we lose touch with friends and family, but we lose ourselves as well. To prevent this from happening, make sure you keep in touch with people outside of your relationship. Spend time with your best friends. Don’t miss important family gatherings. After all, these are the people who help you grow and support you unconditionally. So, don’t let yourself forget there are other valuable individuals in your life besides your significant other.
Every relationship needs boundaries. Period. They are incredibly necessary, especially when it comes to preserving your identity while in a couple. To have a healthy bond with your partner, you need to talk things through and let them know which lines they should never cross. Of course, you also need to ask them about their own limitations. This will prevent your relationship from turning into a living, all-consuming hell.
5. Don’t let your emotions consume you.
Love makes us do crazy things. It often tricks us into letting our emotions drive us. But there are times when we need to listen to our minds too. Neglecting all logic and rationality with the pretext we do it for love can end up creating terminal damage. While being emotional is not a bad thing, allowing your emotions to fully devour your sanity can never end well.
6. Don’t be afraid of letting go.
Life is a mess. It’s chaotic, confusing, and beyond baffling. Its unpredictable nature implies that we can never know what’s next. The same goes for relationships. Not every single bond is meant to last. We can’t do anything else but learn to accept that fact. So when the time comes, and you and your partner decide to go on your separate ways, just let go. The thought that it’s times better to be on your own than in a relationship that erases your identity will help you move on.