Growing up in a toxic family can be way worse for children than divorce
Children should never suffer from the toxicity of their parents’ relationship.
Unfortunately, there are times, when regardless of all the efforts parents make to keep their marriage healthy and safe for their kids, they still struggle to keep them away from their own drama.
Sadly, nowadays divorces are becoming more and more common. A huge part of all marriages end in divorce. Аnd the ones who are hurt the most from this are the children. Seeing their family fall apart before their eyes is tremendously emotionally damaging for the youngsters.
However, many times divorce is a much better decision than keeping a toxic relationship together.
Couples who stay married, even though their marriages are loveless, unconsciously force their children to live in an unhealthy environment. They might be having the good intention to save their kids from a possible crisis, but instead, they are pushing them towards it. Because, even though they stay married, when there is no love, these couples eventually start arguing, fighting, and looking at each other with intense hatred. And children easily recognize that.
Although there is no doubt divorces can be emotionally traumatic for children, raising them in an abusive and violent home is going to be way more dangerous for them.
As children tend to see their parents as real-life superheroes, they get affected by everything they do or say. They internalize everything that’s going on in their family. That’s why, when parents are constantly fighting, their kids feel stressed, anxious, and helpless. They feel like their whole world is falling apart. Instead of feeling cozy and safe at their own home, they feel like they don’t belong there.
Moreover, the continuous conflicts and tension in their family, eventually end up being a childhood trauma for the kids, as they grow older. These painful experiences drastically decrease children’s self-esteem. Besides, this could leave them with constant internal wars with their own selves.
The worst thing is, seeing their parents maintain a long-term toxic marriage, reflects over children’s’ future relationships with friends and romantic partners when they become adults.
They lose sense of closeness and end up sabotaging their chances of being surrounded by love.
After all, the relationship between their parents is the first one kids see in their lives. It is the first example of love, support, affection, and empathy they learn from.
That’s why it has a crucial role in their life as adults. Growing up in unhappy or broken families makes kids have a hard time establishing intimacy and devotion with other people. They avoid closeness in order to protect themselves from being hurt again.
What’s more, children raised in toxic environments are most likely to suffer from severe mood issues, such as depression, anxiety, and PTSD(post-traumatic stress disorder).
When these extremely serious conditions are left untreated, they might even lead to personality disorders.
Luckily, there are ways parents can prevent their children from struggling with the consequences of their broken marriages. For instance, they could consider going to couples therapy. This would be extremely helpful, as it teaches parents how to solve their issues in a mature and sensible way.
Another thing they could do if couples therapy doesn’t feel right for the situation is to go to individual therapy. Instead of blaming each other, parents can actually try to look for the root of their problems in their own selves. A professional therapist can see clearly what might have been destroying their family.
But if the idea of therapy doesn’t seem to be compatible with them, parents might wanna try to find other ways to express their feelings, share their troubles, and solve them without harming their children. After all, it’s not kids’ fault their parents couldn’t find a loving path to one another.
