6 DOs and DON’Ts when breaking up with someone you LOVE

Tragically, sometimes love is not enough to save a relationship.

You may care deeply for your partner, but if the love you have is killing you inside, letting go might be better than staying.

There are many reasons why you might consider breaking up with someone you still love. For instance, this love might be one-sided, and you may be the only one making efforts to revive the spark. Maybe you have been disregarded by your partner for far too long, or perhaps there is a vast rift between you two, and the feelings you once had for each other are slowly fading away.

Whatever the reason is, if you keep thinking that being apart might be better for both you and your partner, then it is probably time to let go. And if you have already decided to take that step…

Here are 6 DOs and DON’Ts when breaking up with someone you love: 

1. DO: Be honest.

Having an open and honest conversation about your feelings and concerns with your partner is essential for every romantic relationship. The moment you start considering breaking up with your significant other, instead of bottling up your emotions, you should let them know about your doubts and fears. If you still believe there is a chance for your bond to survive the hardships you are facing, this is probably the only way you can save it. But even if you don’t see a way you can continue being a couple, you should have the integrity to be straightforward and tell them directly why you feel you should end things.

2. DON’T: Don’t give your partner false hope. 

If you are convinced that your relationship has no future, don’t lead your significant other on. Don’t give them mixed signals that would only confuse them and make them question their reality. Be honest with them and let them know exactly why you believe you two should no longer be together. If you truly love them, then you know in your heart that you owe them an explanation, no matter how difficult the conversation will be.

3. DO: Have this honest conversation face-to-face.

Pardon my French, but breaking up over a text or a phone call is a f*ckboy move. Not only is it absolutely disrespectful, but it also hurts the other person’s feelings much more than you believe. So, please, if you cherish your partner, even though you don’t see you two together in the long run, be respectful and break up with them when you are face-to-face. Look them straight in the eyes and tell them how you really feel. Let them know you still love them, but you don’t believe love is powerful enough to save your relationship.

4. DON’T: Don’t break up in a public place. 

Breakups are hurtful for both sides. Doing it in a public place might make your soon-to-be-ex partner feel humiliated and weak, which will inevitably worsen an already unpleasant situation. Although you may think it would spare you a scene, it could actually make things a lot more painful than you might think. But if you do it in private, both you and your significant other would have the freedom to express your emotions openly and let it all out, without the pressure of strangers judging every word you say. It would be just you, your partner, and all the feelings in between.

5. DO: Be mindful of your partner’s feelings. 

When you are breaking up with someone you love, the last thing you want is to see them heartbroken. Therefore, you are probably seeking the least painful way to end things. Hence, you should remember that taking their feelings into consideration is a must. Make sure the place and the time you choose to let them know you want to part ways won’t add up to the ache your statement would most probably cause. While being candid is the best approach in such burdening situations, you shouldn’t cross a line and turn your straightforwardness into cruelty. Be upfront, but don’t be selfish by disregarding their feelings and thinking only about your own concerns.

6. DON’T: Don’t you dare ghosting them!

Ghosting means disappearing without a warning, leaving your partner utterly confused. It could push them towards self-doubting habits that could be detrimental to their mental health. Perhaps it seems easier to just go and never turn back, instead of facing your fears and be honest with your significant other. However, you should never forget that as much as you need to take care of your feelings, you should pay attention to theirs too. If you still care about them, you would have the integrity to be real and tell them how you feel in a face-to-face conversation, no matter how frightening it may seem.

Frankly, life is far too short to sacrifice your happiness by being with the wrong person.

Sometimes letting go could be much more beneficial for both you and your partner than staying in a dysfunctional relationship.

Once you decide to take the step of breaking up with your significant other, after having an honest conversation with them about your concerns, and after eventually parting ways, there are a few things you should consider. First, don’t forget to give yourself some time to reflect. In your mind, go through all the things you said and remind yourself why you had to make that move in order to grow as an individual. Then, reach out to the people you value the most. It could be your friends, your family – whoever makes you feel good in your own skin even after such a distressing experience.

Another thing you should probably do is cutting off contact with your now ex-partner. Maybe, in the future, you two could be friends, but for now, you both need time to unwind away from one another. Also, try staying off social media for a while. A digital detox might help you cope with the trauma of being heartbroken, plus you won’t be checking if your ex is online every two seconds.

Furthermore, don’t jump into another relationship soon as you end this one. Instead, focus on yourself for a change.

Most importantly, be patient with yourself because time truly does heal. It may not be powerful enough to make you completely forget about your ex, but it can help you recover from the emotional trauma that comes with a broken heart.

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