It is normal to feel jealous sometimes.
Whether you feel jealous because of your partner, your friends, or your coworkers, you are not alone. Feeling jealous is part of being human and while it is normal to experience these feelings, it is important to learn how to control them. If you fail to control and manage your jealousy, you may harm your relationships with those who mean most to you. Jealousy can play tricks on your mind and make you see things in ways that do not reflect reality. In turn, you might overreact and have outbursts which can cause irreparable damage to your relationships. The first step to controlling your jealousy is finding out where it stems from. In other words, it is important to find out what triggers your jealousy and how it can affect you.
There are 3 ways jealousy can affect your self-esteem:
1. It can make you think you are not good enough.
If your friends start making plans without you, you are likely to become jealous. While this is normal and it can happen to anybody, these feelings can become destructive. Instead of thinking of viable reasons why they did not invite you, you might immediately begin to think that they no longer want to be your friends. These thoughts can become stronger and more powerful, until you convince yourself that none of your friends actually like you. Unsurprisingly, these thoughts affect your mental and emotional wellbeing, making you doubt your self-worth and convincing you that you are not good enough when, in reality, your friends probably had a perfectly understandable reason for not inviting you.
2. It can make you compare yourself to others.
Jealousy can make you feel like a loser. Always looking around, observing what others have, and comparing yourself can destroy you. Seeing that your friends have a better job, more money, and healthy relationships should make you happy. Feelings of jealousy can get in the way of your kindness and love as it can make you compare yourself to others, wishing for what they have, and wondering why you are not as happy as they are. The truth is that if you were to stop comparing yourself, you would be so much happier.
3. It can make you criticize yourself.
Having low self-esteem and being jealous can often come hand in hand. In other words, feeling jealous can make you lose confidence in yourself and in turn, having low self-esteem means that you are more likely to get jealous of others. If you constantly compare yourself to others and see that they are successful, your jealousy can not only make you wish that you have what they have, but it can also make you judge yourself for not being able to have it. That is, you may begin to judge yourself for not having a better job or making more money instead of being proud of yourself and being grateful for what you have.
You have all it takes to regain control.
The first step to learning how to deal with jealousy is acknowledging its presence and recognizing how it makes you feel about yourself. For some, talking to a therapist can be extremely beneficial. This is especially true for those whose jealousy has made them believe that they truly are not smart, attractive, or successful enough. Ultimately, if jealousy has eroded your self-confidence and self-esteem, it is vital that you seek help and learn how to control it before it is too late. Remember that you have all it takes to regain control. Believing in yourself can make all the difference.
