3 Seriously Petty Things That Can Slowly Ruin Your Relationship
Do you let petty annoyances and differences get in the way of your relationship’s happiness?
Have you ever gotten annoyed over something so small that you know is not a big deal but it still feels like one? For instance, your partner leaving the toilet seat up is not cause for an argument because it is not a big deal. However, your mind has the power to perceive their action as a sign of disrespect. In turn, you may get hurt or even angry and start an argument. In this way, a seemingly small (or even meaningless) issue can become the cause of a heated argument. With time, this kind of petty annoyances and differences can completely destroy your relationship. According to Jay Dixit, Diane Sollee claims that these differences ‘derive from our genetically influenced temperaments, our belief systems, and experiences growing up in our family of origin’.
There are 3 common petty things that can break your relationship.
In every single relationship, one partner is bound to be messier than the other. Columbia University management professor Eric Abrahamson and Massachusetts journalist David H. Freedman reported that 80% of couples who live together say that differences in messiness and disorganization can cause tension in the relationship. Try speaking to your partner and let them know that their messiness irritates you. Knowing this, they might do their best to change. Nevertheless, it is also possible that they will not succeed in changing. Jay Dixit notes that if they cannot change, it is best that you ‘reframe the issue in your own mind’. For example, instead of feeling irritated that your partner cannot keep the house in perfect order, think of the appreciation you feel that they contribute to the household chores. In other words, change your mindset to let go of petty annoyances.
2. Seemingly deliberate behavior
In the same way that you do not put much thought into the things you do on a daily basis, your partner does not do things to deliberately irritate you. Maybe you get irritated at how loud they chew their food or how they hum while they work. If you have told them that it bothers you and they continue doing it, they are not doing it to deliberately annoy you. It is just what they do! You need to accept their habits and understand that not everything is a personal slight.
While it is true that communication is key in all relationships. Voicing your concerns and complaints too often can destroy your relationship. If you and your partner feel as though you constantly criticize each other, you will soon become unhappy. Although constructive criticism is sometimes necessary for the growth and development of a relationship, unnecessary and judgemental comments will only cause harm.