Nobody should have to tolerate a toxic partner.
Everybody has their own deal breakers when it comes to relationships but there are certain things nobody should ever have to tolerate. What you may find as a deal breaker in a relationship, another may see as no problem at all. However, there are several things that everybody should view as huge, bright red flags. These red flags are issues that will inevitably result in heartbreak and that – no matter how hard you try – cannot be resolved.
If you can relate to these 10 things, your relationship is most likely toxic.
1. Your partner is abusive.
Nobody should ever have to tolerate a partner that is emotionally, mentally, or physically abusive. Your relationship should bring you nothing but happiness; if you find that your partner makes you feel worthless, judged, ashamed, guilty, or depressed, you should leave immediately. Leaving a manipulative and abusive partner can be extremely difficult and many people fear that they will not be able to do so. The truth is that you can leave and once you do, you will be happier than ever before.
2. The relationship is a secret.
If your partner refuses to tell their friends and family about you, they may not be serious about the relationship. What is worse, they might even be embarrassed by you. A loving partner will want you to meet their family and friends as soon as possible. Having to pretend as though you are not together is a red flag.
3. Substance abuse.
Substance abuse is dangerous and should be seen as a relationship deal breaker. When under the influence, your partner may abuse you, mistreat you, hurt you, and make poor decisions. You should not have to tolerate and forgive this behavior.
If you have both agreed to a monogamous relationship, there is no excuse for infidelity. By cheating, your partner clearly shows their lack of respect, care, and sometimes even love. Very few people can forgive an unfaithful partner and many of those who do, find that their relationship cannot be the same again.
5. They argue to win – not resolve.
When a couple fights, both partners should work to resolve the situation. This means admitting fault, coming to a compromise, etc. If your partner only cares about winning, this is a red flag. Most of the time, partners who are keen on winning arguments can inflict great pain as they will do and say anything to win.
6. You want different things in life.
Even though wanting different things is not toxic, staying in a relationship with a partner who you know has different goals will lead to heartbreak. Unfortunately, no matter how much two people love each other, sometimes the relationship cannot work out. If they want to have children and you do not, there is little you can do to resolve this issue. Ignoring the facts will only prolong the pain and make the inevitable break up even more painful.
7. They are selfish.
A relationship should be built on equal efforts. If you are always putting in effort, making time for your partner, and seeing that this is not reciprocated, you should take a step back and reevaluate your relationship. If they do not give as much as they receive, put in equal effort, or make time for you, they do not deserve you.
8. They are too jealous.
It is normal and even expected that there will be a little bit of jealousy in every relationship. However, too much jealousy is toxic and dangerous. A relationship without trust cannot exist and it will eventually lead to a difficult, chaotic break up. Nobody should ever tolerate having to justify their every action.
9. Your values are different.
People who do not have the same morals and values can very rarely get along. In fact, this is true not just for romantic relationships but for friendships too. To build a life with someone, you need to be on the same page in terms of your values and morals.
10. You fight constantly.
If you feel frustrated, upset, and angry more often than you feel happy, content, and fulfilled, the relationship is wrong for you. While all partners fight, they do not do so every day. Finding yourself constantly fighting, bickering, and getting irritated by one another is not a good sign.
Even if it may be difficult to put an end to an unhealthy relationship, it will be worth it. Leave what makes you unhappy, move on, and find what you deserve. Your happiness is far more important than anything else.