You cannot be unfaithful to your partner and expect to be forgiven
Has the way we perceive cheating changed over the years?
Many people argue that nowadays, cheating not only occurs more often than it did before but that it is also more acceptable. In our progressive societies, there is a plethora of things people can do that they could not do before. For example, the rise of technology and social media has made it increasingly easy to engage in emotional infidelity (sometimes, without even realizing that you are). Taking a case in point, according to the BBC, 18-25% of Tinder users are actually in committed relationships. What is more, we live in a time where personal growth and development is valued and prioritized. This, paired with the aforementioned rise of social media, has the power to influence people to cheat and constantly search for something better.
Speaking to VICE, Kelsey commented on this as she said cheating has ‘become more acceptable because we have so much more exposure. It’s like that hashtag #relationshipgoals… people are always striving for better. Even if you’re in something good, it’s like you’re just always looking for other opportunities. Something more.’
Regardless, being unfaithful to a partner can cause irreparable damage.
While we live in a time where it is certainly far easier to be unfaithful, an affair can never be justified. Cheating – whether emotionally or physically – is a form of betrayal and abuse. Subsequently, it is not surprising that it can be traumatizing for the one who is betrayed. In addition to this, it can affect their ability to trust and thereby, affect all of their future relationships. It is important to note that the BBC further reported that around 70% of couples have not discussed what actions and behaviors they define as being a form of cheating. Moreover, speaking to the BBC, Susan Boon of the University of Calgary explained:
People overestimate the extent to which others approve of and engage in infidelity in relation to how much they do […] I’m not sure why people don’t talk about it considering how often you see it in movies or songs. Part of it is that we’re not aware of the variability of standards. We assume wrongly that what I consider unfaithful you would too. It also admits that maybe this could happen. People would prefer to believe that you wouldn’t do this.
Ultimately, especially in our day and age, people must have this conversation so that they may set boundaries they understand and agree on so as to ensure that they do not cause irreparable damage.