The unbearable pain of trying to forget the person you never really had

What does it mean to lose someone you never really had?

You’ve spend spent a lot of time with each other having fruitful conversations about your dreams, personal life, work, but it all comes to an end in an instant and now you are by yourself, dealing with the difficulty of life on your own.

You never thought you would end up like this. Now you both exist, but outside of each other’s life. Your partner has ended it all and moved on with another, and all you have is those memories when you were at the peak of your happiness with them. You keep looking at those old pictures and you cannot help getting emotional.

When a special person comes into your life, makes you feel fulfilled and puts in the effort to make you smile, you tend to start believing that this would never come to an end.

No matter if both of you have openly declared your feelings for each other because you were certain that it is slowly turning into something special.

Maybe you have made plans for the future but all of a sudden the person you wanted to be yours no longer is. Your world comes crashing down and all the wonderful dreams you created in your head get destroyed with one blow.

But how could it come to this? And how does it feel to lose a person you never really had?

The feeling can be truly crushing.

You have weeks, months, or even years together cherishing every little detail of each other and one point your special someone conveniently replaces you and the connection you had evaporates into thin air.

You now mean nothing for this person and all you have left is a sense of emptiness. You try to find new activities in order to help yourself forget, meet new people, catch up with old friends, watch new movies but somehow you keep being stuck in the void.

People try to console you by telling you that it just wasn’t meant to be. Or they tell you how careless you have been for not communicating with the other person enough to understand what was happening, but you are unable to defend yourself.

You know that what you felt was real and somehow when the other person withdrew their affection, you never understood how it came to this point.

How do you deal with this sudden goodbye?

You keep on seeking closure, but your partner is no longer present.  Time goes by but you have a feeling that nothing could make you happy now.

Do not despair. It is alright to feel sadness or depression in such cases. Do not be ashamed of the wounds you are carrying. The pain you feel at the moment will turn into wisdom, and in time you will pick up all those broken pieces of yourself and put them back together.

The people closest to you will surely try to help you, but you will realize that the best way out is, in. You must feel the pain to understand it better.

You can get through the pain when you overcome this emotional state on your own. The one you loved is now nothing but a memory and all you have is your own life, which you need to sort out on your own.

It may take you weeks or months to get back on track and become whole again. But when that time has passed, love will find its way back to you again and you will once more find meaning and happiness. 

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