We often tend to ask ourselves: “Why do none of my relationships work out? Is there something wrong with me?“
It feels as though something always has to go wrong.
However, there is a reason behind most, if not all, failed attempts at a healthy relationship: learning the painful lesson which will lead to the truest form of love you deserve.
But how is that the case?
The Painful Love
“If you have chemistry you only need one other thing. Timing. But timing’s a bitch.” (Robin, How I Met Your Mother)
Finding love is not easy. However, sustaining love is even harder. There are a lot of factors that come into play in a true, loving relationship. Yet, some of them are out of our control and we can do nothing about it. One of those factors is timing. A great deal of the outcome of an even extremely passionate relationship is dependant on both parties being on the same page. At the same time.
You most probably guessed (from personal experience or otherwise) that this does not happen with every person you will love in your lifetime.
Moreover, it happens only once (or maximum twice) at the expense of one or two (or plenty) of painful relationships. Maybe while you are reading this you will begin to reminisce about one such past relationship that has left its scars on you in one way or another.
Remember how you tirelessly tried to make it work while nothing really changed in the long run? It was just not meant to be with that person but you did not want to accept that. None of us want to accept such a thing. It is heartbreaking to come to the realization that the person you love so much…is just not meant for you. Even if you think he/she is the only one to possibly light a fire so warm and bright in you, you would have to leave them in the past.
As to be expected, the break up is one of the most unbearable slaps into reality. Many sleepless nights and days filled with hurt will follow. But they, too, will pass. Most importantly, now you will know better.
A Life Lesson?
Healing is a long process. It will not happen overnight but it will happen. Many beneficial life lessons are hidden in such painful experiences. First and foremost you will recognize that: you can love someone deeply, but can also acknowledge when it is time for you to walk away because you deserve better.
As all people say, mistakes are an inevitable part of life. And it is from the most painful experiences that we learn the most. Maybe we needed one more life lesson in order to prepare us for the ‘real’ love waiting for us in the future. And maybe we were supposed to get our hearts broken so that we now know what we need and what is right for us.
And if you don’t learn? Well, life has a funny way of repeating a situation multiple times until you grasp what is needed for you to grow. So, if you sometimes feel/felt like you are stuck in a devilish circle with somebody (or have had multiple relationships with similar issues)…most probably you haven’t learned your lesson yet.
But what does that lesson bring you?
The calm and caring true love
This is the love you have earned.
Through all your past heartaches you will gain the wisdom and experience, allowing you to find the true love you needed all this time. No sleepless nights, no unnecessary drama, misunderstandings, or hard to swallow fights. The mistakes you have made and the lessons you have learned will, therefore, pave the way to the right person. So, nothing is ever in vain. Neither your time or energy were wasted or sacrificed, as you might have thought. No, they were put into a greater purpose you didn’t even realize at the time.
Namely, personal growth.
After the achievement of such growth, the calm and caring nature of the person you were always meant to be with comes along. With a much-needed peace of mind, by experiencing this relationship you will realize why all others failed. Therefore, as a result, you will be even more assured that some things are and others aren’t meant to be for a reason.