Your true love might not be who you think it is

“Sometimes good things fall apart so better things can fall together.”

The truth is that breakups hurt. They are always sad, sometimes even heartbreaking and very often cause depression or at least serious emotional distress. But losing someone who doesn’t value and understands you is, in fact, a good thing. It’s a blessing in disguise so to say because only when you let go of the wrong person will you be able to find the right one.

Yet, why do so many of us make the wrong decisions when it comes to love and start relationships with people who are not the right for us?

Is the choice of a partner that difficult?

Why more often than not the love of our life ends with disappointment rather than with “and they lived happily ever after”?

One possible answer to these questions could be that too many people start a relationship while in fact, they are not ready for it. Another reason is that very often we’re misled by our own vision of the person we love. When we look at him or her, we see is our own projection of love, our own romanticized ideas of what our loved one, should be and not their true self. And when eventually we realize that our significant other is not the one we want and expect them to be we feel disappointed.

That’s when our relationship starts to seem like a dead-end street because all the beautiful feelings transform into disappointment or even worse frustration and hopelessness.

We don’t have romantic conversations with our loved one anymore.

We don’t think about the future with them either and don’t want to put any more efforts into something that might not actually be for us. So we start believing that there could be someone better out there. And here’s where many relationships come to an unhappy ending. Sadly when people feel disappointed they tend to retreat from the relationship instead of trying to reestablish the magic between them and their partner.

So, what is the key to saving our relationship or even better not starting one with the wrong person?

First of all, we should know that although dreams are a great thing because they make our life easier we should stick to reality. This means that we can’t expect from our partner to meet our imaginary and often irrealistic criteria of love. After all, we are imperfect human beings. So it’s normal to make mistakes and even hurt our loved ones or be hurt by them. The real issue is that when there are problems in the relationship people don’t try to resolve them by talking to their significant other. And even if they do the disappointment is way too serious to be able to get over it.

Here are the words of Karen Salmansohn who perfectly explains it all:

“You’re not looking for perfection in your partner. Perfection is all about the ego. With soulmate love, you know that true love is what happens when disappointment sets in – and you’re willing to deal maturely with these disappointments”.

Furthermore, we shouldn’t start a relationship if we don’t feel ready for one. Or even worse if we don’t know what we want and expect from it. I humbly advise that you don’t get romantically involved with someone before you’ve made up your mind who you really are and what you want from your life. The truth is that people who start a relationship while they aren’t actually ready for it usually end up alone and heartbroken. And sadly they cause pain to their former partners too.

So instead of rushing toward the next love of your life, give yourselves a break and find out who you really are and what you really want, especially when it comes to love.

True love only comes to those who are ready for it

And if you don’t trust these words take a look at the lyrics of Phil Collin’s song called You can’t hurry love.

They hold a lot of truth, don’t they, because, admit it or not real love won’t come to us if we aren’t ready for it.

I need love, love
Oh, ease my mind
And I need to find time
Someone to call mine
My mama said, “you can’t hurry love
No, you’ll just have to wait”
She said, “love don’t come easy
But it’s a game of give and take”
You can’t hurry love
No, you’ll just have to wait
Just trust in a good time
No matter how long it takes
How many heartaches must I stand
Before I find the love to let me live again
Right now the only thing that keeps me hanging on
When I feel my strength, ooh, it’s almost gone
I remember mama said, “you can’t hurry love
No, you’ll just have to wait”
She said, “love don’t come easy
It’s a game of give and take”
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