How can you tell if someone in your life is toxic?
It is not always easy to know if somebody in your life is toxic. The reason for this is that toxic people are often manipulators and liars; therefore, they know how to deceive you and how to trick you into thinking that they are good people. It is important to note that the word toxic can encompass many different things, qualities, and types of people. As a whole, however, those who are toxic tend to drain your energy and happiness. Taking this further, liars, manipulators, complainers, and abusive people are all toxic as they have a negative impact on your life.
What should you do if you know that someone is toxic?
While many claim that toxic people should just be cut off, in reality, it is not so simple. That is, more often than not, the toxic person is a close friend, family member, or romantic partner. Caring for and loving the people who are detrimental to our wellbeing can be extremely difficult as we can never imagine severing ties with them. Nevertheless, they sometimes leave us no other choice. If you are certain that somebody in your life is toxic and you cannot even imagine cutting them off, talk to them. It is important that you can sit down and speak openly. Try to share your feelings and explain how they hurt you. Be specific when talking about the words they say or the things they do and how they impact you. Sometimes, the friends and family who hurt you are not aware that they do so. If this is the case, they will apologize and be willing to change.
However, more often than not, they will deny hurting you and make themselves look like the victims.
In an ideal world, every toxic person would be unaware of their behavior and would be willing to change upon finding out that their words and actions are hurtful. Unfortunately, this is not the case. If you have tried to explain how their words and actions hurt you and they refuse to acknowledge the pain they have caused you, you need to take action. Set boundaries and make it clear that if they cross them once more, you will have no other choice but to leave. More importantly, be wary of the fact that liars and manipulators can promise to change without having any intention to do so. If you are not careful, you might find yourself being hurt even more deeply than you were before.
Toxic people do not want to love you, they want to use you.
While it is true that toxic people can love you, it does not mean that they have your best interests at heart. Toxic people play with your emotions and use you to their advantage. They know that you are kind-hearted, generous, and willing to give all the love that you can. Moreover, they know that because of these qualities, you are likely to be by their side when they pretend to be a victim and to forgive them when they apologize. Knowing this, they often give fake apologies and make empty promises. Time and time again, you will be disappointed by their actions and by the way they hurt you.
Unfortunately, it is only after months or years of torment that you will understand that a toxic person will never change. More importantly, you will see that they never even had any intention of changing in the first place. This realization will be painful but it will also set you free. You deserve someone who will love you and care for you. At the end of the day, everybody deserves to feel happy and loved by the people who surround them.
