Those who gossip tend to have low self-esteem.
Why do people talk behind your back, spread rumors, and badmouth you while they pretend to be your friends? Gossiping is one of the few things that people all around the world have in common. Even though everybody knows that it is something they should not do, people still talk. What is worse, some people actively spread rumors and find pleasure in doing so. Although it may not seem like it, the reason gossipers enjoy badmouthing others is that they are unhappy with themselves.
Why do people talk behind your back?
1. They are envious
Often, people try to spread rumors and badmouth you simply because they envy you. What is interesting is that they tend to gossip about the one thing they actually envy you for. For example, they might badmouth your relationship if it is something they admire and want for themselves. By talking behind your back and spreading rumors, they try to convince themselves that you/your career/your relationship/etc. is not better than them/theirs.
2. They are bored
People might be talking about your career, your love life, or even your problems simply because they have nothing interesting happening in their own lives. Usually, being bored with your life means that you are dissatisfied with what you are doing and who you are. However, instead of trying to change, these people prefer talking about the lives of others.
3. They avoid their problems
To reiterate, some people find it easier to focus on others instead of being proactive and changing the things they do not like about their own lives. When someone feels overwhelmed with issues that they do not know how to resolve, they might seek comfort in pointing out the problems in the lives of others instead.
4. They try to fit in
Some people resort to gossip when they do not know how else to make friends. Unfortunately, people will always talk and this will never change. For this reason, sharing secrets and gossiping is seen as a foolproof way of fitting in. Of course, this emphasizes the fact that this person has nothing interesting to say about themselves and cannot spark a conversation in any other way.
What should you do if you find people badmouthing you?
1. Remain silent and ignore them
The smartest thing you can do is ignore any claims that are made against you. By addressing the rumors and trying to set the record straight, you are making way for more drama. What is worse, truly cruel people will claim that the only reason you would be so upset by their comments is if they were true. Therefore, it is best to remain silent and ignore their remarks. Soon enough, they will have found somebody else to talk about instead of you.
2. Cut them out of your life
If the people badmouthing you are people you consider friends, cut them out of your life. A true friend would never spread rumors or talk behind your back. If they were your friends, they would defend you and stand up for you. In other words, anybody who gossips about you is simply not important and does not deserve a place in your life.
3. Do not take it personally
Remind yourself of the reasons why people gossip. That is, they are bored, insecure, and unhappy with themselves; in other words, it actually has nothing to do with you. Make a note of who you cannot trust, remain silent, and move on.
4. Focus on your true friends
Instead of wasting your time and energy on fake friends and gossipers, focus on the people who are loyal, supportive, and caring. Finding out that people are talking behind your back should only remind you of how lucky you are to have people who are real and true. Remember to always count your blessings.
Nobody and nothing can affect you unless you let it. Your reaction is more important than other people’s actions.