Sometimes, it is difficult to tell who has your back and who will run when things get hard.
It is becoming exceedingly difficult to find friends who are real, loyal, and honest. In fact, many people often spend years building friendships only to later realize that the people they have trusted are actually toxic, fake, and abusive. Like a toxic relationship, a friendship built on toxic energy can have detrimental effects on the mental and emotional wellbeing of the one who is abused. Unfortunately, since we believe that our friends are the family we choose and that they would never hurt us, it can take years for people to realize that they are in a fake friendship. Matthew Jones gives 5 simple and easy ways to discover who your true friends are.
Ask yourself the following questions:
1. Do they support your accomplishments?
A true friend would be supportive, proud, and happy for you when you achieve your goals or work towards your dreams. In contrast to this, someone who does not have your best interests at heart would become envious and could even try to sabotage you or discourage you from trying to accomplish your goals.
2. How do they react when you are struggling?
Hard times reveal true friends as when we go through hardships and struggles, they are the ones who hold our hand and walk beside us. These friends love you and want to make sure that they can do everything in their power to contribute to your happiness. A fake friend would mysteriously disappear when you need a shoulder to cry on or a helping hand; ironically, these are the same people who constantly run to you when they need help.
3. Do they ask you personal, thought-provoking questions?
Asking yourself whether you discuss important and meaningful things such as your personal issues and your goals is key to understanding what kind of a friendship you are in. If you and your friends seem to only talk about superficial topics, then it is unlikely that they will be the ones you can count on when things get hard.
4. Are they attentive and do they listen to you when you talk?
When you want to vent about your problems and the things you are struggling with, a faithful friend will be there to listen attentively, offer advice and ask if they can help. A fake friend, on the other hand, will find a way to turn the conversation around so that they are the center of attention.
5. Do they encourage you and challenge you to grow?
Those who care about you and your success will often push you out of your comfort zone. They do so because they believe in you and have faith that you can achieve anything you want to as long as you try. While true friends encourage, challenge, and support you, a fake friend would do the opposite. That is, they will discourage you and they may even call your dreams unrealistic. Ultimately, this is because of their own insecurities and the fear that you will become more successful than them.
After asking yourself these five questions, you should be able to determine whether the friends in your life are real and loyal or fake and toxic.
Surrounding yourself with supportive people who truly love and care for you is vital in making sure that you live a happy and fulfilling life.