What is a narcissist?
People with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) have an exaggerated sense of self-importance. As a result, they believe they are superior and entitled to special treatment. Moreover, they are not afraid of manipulating, deceiving, and hurting the people they love if it means getting what they want. Admittedly, it must be noted that despite their lack of empathy, not all narcissists are cheaters.
There are 6 common reasons why narcissists cheat.
1. Need for attention
Narcissists desire validation and admiration. Therefore, when someone looks at them, chases them, and makes them feel wanted, they cannot resist the attention.
2. Entitlement
Due to their sense of entitlement, narcissists believe they deserve more than others. Subsequently, they see nothing wrong with having affairs or multiple partners. Moreover, their lack of empathy makes them indifferent to the pain they cause the one who loves them.
3. Lack of control
Research has found a link between narcissism and impulsive behavior. More specifically, according to Simine Vazire and David C. Funder, impulsivity influences and explains most of the narcissist’s behavior. They write that narcissists prefer “short-term immediate gratification over long-term benefits”. In other words, they do not think about the consequences of cheating.
4. Source of power
Narcissists feel powerful when they cheat. This sense of power comes from the feeling that they are in control and in charge as they manipulate and lie to their partner. In addition to this, not getting caught makes them believe that they are more clever and thus, superior.
5. Lack of guilt
Their severe lack of empathy makes cheating easier for the narcissist. While most people would feel guilty and ashamed after having an affair, the narcissist will feel no shame and no guilt. All they will think is that they are more attractive, more likable, and more clever.
6. They do not think they will get caught
Narcissists are so certain of their intelligence and superiority that they do not believe they can get caught. In addition to this, they know that they are skilled at manipulation and deception. Therefore, they are confident that if they were to get caught, they would be able to deceive and gaslight their partner into believing they are mistaken.
There are 3 signs your narcissistic partner is cheating.
1. They accuse you of cheating
In an attempt to conceal their own infidelity, a narcissist will accuse you of being unfaithful. When they do this, you will become so preoccupied with defending yourself that you will not think of the possibility that they might be cheating. Moreover, by showing their lack of tolerance to and contempt for infidelity, they make you believe that they would never do such a thing.
2. They do not let you touch their phone
This sign is clear and obvious. If your partner hides their screen whenever they are using their phone around you, they are most likely being unfaithful. Someone who does not have anything to hide will have no problem with you seeing or using their phone.
3. Their money spending or sex habits change
If your partner has suddenly changed their money spending or sex habits, they may be cheating. More specifically, if their libido seems to have decreased and they have become more frugal, this may only be so with you. In other words, they may be spending their money and being physically intimate with someone else instead of you.
If you are certain that your narcissistic partner is cheating on you, confronting them will be difficult. That is, you must be prepared to face lies, denial, and manipulation as the narcissist will never own up to their mistakes. They will become aggressive if presented with evidence and they will hurt you instead of giving you the apology or explanation you deserve. Therefore, if you are sure that they have been unfaithful, it is best to just walk away.
