If being married is so ‘great’, why do people cheat so often?
Being married, typically speaking, comes along with a plethora of benefits to the individual: you are, according to studies, healthier, wealthier, happier and sexually satisfied.
Moreover, you would have happier and more successful children to top everything off.
However, regardless of all the mentioned above benefits, nearly half of marriages fall apart and end in divorce while many other people choose the single parent life.
The circumstance, quite frankly, is that people seem to not want to be married.
An added element to this occurrence is the fact that extramarital sex is deemed as a prevailing factor in troubled marital relationships, despite it posing a risk to their health, family, financial resources, and social status. Furthermore, it is said that married people have the tendency to have a better and more satisfying sex life in comparison to single people due to their commitment.
However, over 40% of married pairs have problems with infidelity in their relationship, despite the fact that most people who do engage in extramarital sexual relations say they perceive it as wrong.
So, why do people cheat if marriage is presumably so beneficial in so many important life aspects?
There are plenty of strictly individual as to why both men and women could potentially cheat, however, there are a couple of risk factors that increase the chances of that happening.
Some of the ‘risk factors’ mentioned above are inclusive of:
- Lack of communication
- Emotional and/or physical disconnect
- Low compatibility
- Domestic violence and emotional abuse
- Financial pressures
- Lack of respect
Therefore, as a consequence, the primary reasons for cheating add up to the following:
1. Feeling Unappreciated
The feeling of neglect in combination with a sense of being undervalued is a major factor for infidelity issues in both sexes. This could happen for women specifically as, alongside their professional life, most of them carry the housework on their shoulders. In this instance, an affair could validate a person’s sense of their own worth, for example.
Boredom could quite naturally lead to extramarital relations as both sexes tend to be on the lookout for the thrill, adventure or even the adrenaline rush of chasing after a newfound love. It is claimed by some people that with an affair they are not so much looking for a replacement of their partner, but are using it as a way of ‘spicing things up’ in their marriage.
Dissatisfaction within a marriage could be both emotional or sexual. As marriage is a lot of continuous work, without a mutuality in the perseverance and nurturing of the relationship, couples could grow apart. Hence, this circumstance may also take a toll on their sex life, resulting in a ‘sexless marriage’ which may logically lead to an affair for both men and women.
4. Body Image/Aging:
Well, yes, cheating could indeed be a form of proving to oneself and society that ‘they still have it going on’. As per the popularly known to most of us stereotype, at a certain age, men may come to the inclination of having a ‘younger’ girlfriend or lover as a means to keep their youthful look. However, the same could be said about their female counterparts in this regard. Consequently, this may come as a result of one partner blaming the other of ‘letting themselves go’.
5. The Internet
Whilst the internet is an evolving term, it is a provider for a lot more easily accessible ways for a person to engage in an extramarital relationship- be it only sexual, or emotional as well. With dating websites and apps there is really no limit in regards to meeting new people with a ‘specific’ purpose.
This one is highly dependent on the work arrangements of both spouses, as well as their work schedule. Therefore, any kind of ‘absence’ period- traveling for work, or a tight work program, provides a risk for the couple’s relationship, as it allows for an affair to be possible with little opportunity to be discovered. However, this is due to the fact that said absence may lead to loneliness, as well as resentment which, in turn, could lead to one of the partners searching for validation somewhere else.
Therefore, although there are plenty of beneficial characteristics to marriage, people have individual reasons for wanting to explore beyond their ‘committed’ relationship. However, besides the individualistic circumstances, there are a couple of risk factors that have a very high chance of influencing the decision of having an affair.
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