So I was thinking, “what does worrying accomplish”? According to the Dalai Lama,
“If a problem is fixable, if a situation is such that you can do something about it, then there is no need to worry. If it’s not fixable, then there is no help in worrying. There is no benefit in worrying whatsoever.”
Well said. Every time I find myself with a worry, I must remind myself of these words. All of the problems we encounter in life – there is either something we can do about them, or there isn’t. Let’s start with the things we can change, fix, or work towards.
A common example people (myself included) worry about is money. Where is it going to come from, how are the bills going to get paid, what about x, y, and z? A simple answer to this worry is “either it comes or it doesn’t”. Although this answer may not ease your stress at first, when you spend some time thinking about it, it makes sense. Either the funds you need are there and will be available to you, or they won’t. Want help finding a way to work towards a solution? Well we can find answers to our problems if we allow ourselves to focus and to simply be in the moment. Without the nagging harassment of worry in the back of our minds, we can always find a way around the things that stress us out. Sit down and give yourself some time to breathe.
Without the nagging harassment of worry in the back of our minds, we can always find a way around the things that stress us out.
Sit down and give yourself some time to breathe. Maybe in the silence and calmness you will be able to formulate a budget that fits your lifestyle. Maybe you will discover that you aren’t hurting for cash as much as you thought you were. Or maybe you will come to realize that certain things in your life need to change. Either way, a solution, and an answer can be found so worrying is absolutely unnecessary.
Okay so what about the things we can’t fix or change? Let’s say that you went for a job interview and you feel you didn’t do so well, or maybe your best friend is upset with you for following your dream instead of following the path they chose. That’s tough, right? Wrong. Why worry about things that are out of your control? How others decide to think and how they decide to feel is one thing that is completely out of your control and you have no business worrying about that. If you did well or didn’t do well in an interview, the decision is up to the person holding the interview and I promise you that wasting energy worrying about how you did won’t accomplish anything. Instead, know you did your best at that time with the information you had available. And if you have a friend who isn’t happy with your life choices, well too bad.
Sorry if that sounds a bit harsh but really… what does it matter if someone else is happy with your decisions? Are you happy with them? That is all that matters. When we worry about what others think of us, regarding employment or even friendships, it is useless. It doesn’t serve us. Instead of worrying about that, try being confident in your choices. When we know deep, deep down inside that we are doing something, or have done something, truly good for us, then we can go forth in life with our head held high. And who has time to worry when they are counting the stars? Bottom line: you aren’t responsible for what people think of you and you can’t change it, so let it be and carry on.
I’ll admit, I still have wee worries creep up on me from time to time. But I have learned how to silence them. I no longer give them power over my life. Rather than allowing worry to rule my life and take away the precious time I have in these moments, I direct my attention to what I can and can not alter in certain situations. If there is a solution, I will find it and apply it to the problems that arise. If there is no solution that I can personally work into the problem, then I let it go and shift my attention elsewhere. The universe provides for us more than most realize.
Honestly, getting into a quiet space and giving yourself some time to release all of the stuff that weighs you down is important. It’s vital. Let go of the worries in your life. They don’t benefit you. They take away the time you have in the present and shift your focus to the “then” and the “when”. Now is all we have and living in this very moment is imperative to LIVING. So go out there and live without worry. Everything will be okay.
Written by Raven Fon