“At the end of your life’s journey, what do you want to say you did with your time? There is enough time if you choose to invest it in yourself. Inch by inch, day by day…make yourself a priority.” – Jackie Cantoni
Sometimes the whirlwind of our interpersonal relationships can get the best of us without us even realizing it. It is tricky because especially if you are a more empathic and compassionate person, the power some people have over you can become really toxic.
Being in such a position, it is easy for the wrong individuals to misuse that power. And because you are so giving and nurturing as a person, you may not sense the way this circumstance can get the best of you.
Therefore, it is essential to be aware of some of the most common consequences of you investing too much time and energy in others who may not be as deserving of that.
1. You forget about yourself
“ Self-care is how you take your power back.”
– Lalah Delia
When investing too much of yourself in the “well-being and prosperity” of others, it is more than certain that you will lose track of your own ambitions and needs. Consequently, that will hold you back from achieving your goals at the current moment and generally in life. Being an active part of people’s lives is one thing, however, being constantly drawn in by the problems and manipulations of one or two people is an extremely unhealthy pattern.
It is then you need to regain the power over your own life back.
2. You let other people hurt you (without even knowing)
It is in your caring nature to want the best for everyone around you and do everything in your power to assure that. However, that can become problematic when the person next to you does not think or act the same way as you. Without realizing it, you may have let someone who does not deserve it become very close to you (relationship or friendship-wise). Taking advantage of you, or even manipulating you can be a by-product of such an unbalanced relationship. Consequently, you would get hurt without even realizing you are doing it to yourself.
3. Your relationship has become excessively codependent
In a romantic relationship, this could take a great toll on you in regards to your emotional well-being. Having somebody you can rely on is very essential and healthy. However, being codependent to the extent of nothing else being important to you other than the person you are with…that is not something you would want for yourself. Not because a high level of intimacy and closeness is a bad thing, but because the rational lines between what is and is not acceptable for you as a person become dangerously blurry.
4. You feel manipulated
“Just because something isn’t a lie does not mean that it isn’t deceptive. A liar knows that he is a liar, but one who speaks mere portions of truth in order to deceive is a craftsman of destruction.”- Criss Jami
Manipulation, intended or not, becomes a big side effect of the aforementioned signs. Being in the never-ending cycle of drama and stress, you tend to not realize how deeply all of this has and is affecting you. Moreover, you cannot really seem to grasp the bigger picture, making you susceptible to further manipulation. Being in that state of mind can really cloud your judgment, thus lead you to be even more invested in your relationship, rather than you understanding the toxic nature of it.
5. Constant feeling of being exhausted
Consequently, exhaustion is to be expected as another side effect. After all, emotional distress can lead to many complications and extreme tiredness is definitely one of them. Giving 110% of your energy to somebody else is draining at the end of the day because you have nothing to support your own self with.
Putting a focus on yourself would certainly be a reasonable step to take.
Stress is not what happens to us. It’s our response to what happens. And response is something we can choose. – Maureen Killoran
5. Your other relationships suffer
As you will be too consumed with attending to other peoples needs, you will most likely let your other relationships suffer immensely. Not having enough (reasonable) time to respond or even talk to close ones would most probably be detrimental to your social life and circle.
Working on differentiating between spending healthy quality time and a manipulative obsession is crucial for you to comprehend how flawed your relationship has become.