“Where did we go wrong? Our relationship was going in a positive direction but then – bam! – it all came crashing down on us.”
Does this sound familiar? In our quest to find true love, many of us experience something just like that. Most of the triggers that cause a healthy relationship do go sideways, however, are not all that mysterious.
Here are some of the honest reasons why many good relationships fail.
1. Too physical, too soon
It can take time to form the healthy emotional circuits needed to hold together a lasting relationship. Trust and the willingness to fully commit cannot be rushed. However, keen sexual energy can cut a potential partnership short, if switched on too early. Becoming intimate too soon can open up a large number of issues that can put pressure on a fresh relationship – and destroy it before it has the chance to take off properly.
When your relationship is fresh, you find new ways every once in a while to make your significant other feel special. You never miss a chance to tell your partner how much they mean to you. You feel grateful to have them by your side and you would do anything to keep them in your life. However, as the years go by, you start taking your partner for granted. You don’t appreciate them as you used to and slowly the gap between you two starts widening.
When you constantly display affection towards your partner to the point that your “surprises” don’t even surprise them any longer, things can start to get a little boring after a while.
This not only makes your other half feel that there is nothing exciting left to do in your relationship, but it also puts immense pressure on you. In fact, you begin to feel as if your efforts are going unnoticed and are not being received properly. And in turn, you start feeling less desirable.
3. Unchecked emotional baggage
As much as we want to categorize new relationships as a “fresh start,” that is usually not entirely true. We all carry wounds inflicted upon us earlier in life – as children, in previous relationships, or due to other, past failures. Making space for your new love may cause you to trip over things you’d forgotten about.
And of course, your partner certainly has hidden pains too. But the issue is not the wounds we carry since we all have some of those. It is the unwillingness to examine and work through the emotional baggage that pushes us down. To succeed in a new relationship, both parties must be willing to talk about the painful past that haunts them and do the work required to get over it.
4. Emotional possessiveness
Not many relationships are able to make it past the hurdles of extreme jealousy, overdependence, possessiveness, or controlling and manipulative behavior. These types of actions and attitudes are an obvious sign that one or both parties lack a solid emotional foundation. Putting excessive demands on your partner’s time and attention may seem like a normal expression of romance. But in reality, it’s a high form of destructive domination. The freedom to be who you are – without someone constantly telling you what you should or should not be doing – is crucial if your relationship is to thrive and succeed.
5. Fairy tale expectations
Unrealistic expectations serve as treacherous pitfalls on the road to a lasting relationship. When a lady describes her man as “perfect prince charming” and he thinks she is “a goddess with no faults,” they are doomed to fall back down to earth with a deadly crash. Of course, there is nothing wrong with thinking the world of each other and nurturing dreams of a bright common future. However, in a healthy relationship, people must acknowledge that no one is perfect and there will inevitably be problems to address down the road. All relationships require hard work, commitment, and perseverance.
In the early stages of exciting romance, it is somehow tempting to see the world through rose-tinted glasses. But if you want your relationship to last, throw them away, and keep your eyes open for trouble while it can still be avoided.
If you enjoyed this article, please don’t hesitate to share it with your friends and drop us a comment in the section below.