Commitment Issues: The “Situationship” You Never Agreed To Commit To
When it comes to relationships, it’s hard work. For those of you who have been in a relationship or are currently in one, you know that it takes time, effort, and a strong commitment from each other in order to make the relationship work. The aspect of a strong commitment is what essentially becomes a common issue among many couples.
Some people don’t even use the word “relationship” because the lines are so blurred of what they’re doing that they call it a “situationship.” A “situationship” is essentially a relationship with no title associated. It’s an awfully confusing position to be in because there are emotions and feelings shared between each other but there is no obligated commitment to each other nor do you have to put in the necessary time and effort that’s required of a real relationship.
Let’s say you’ve been “talking” to someone for quite some time. You hang out together and enjoy spending time together but you’ve never been out anywhere together yet. Why is that? You both get along so well and you have so much fun together so what’s holding them back from giving you their all? Sounds like the person you’ve been “talking” to has commitment issues and you’re sitting smack-dab in the middle of a “situationship.”
How Can You Tell If Your Partner Actually Has Commitment Issues?
There are definitely signs that are dead giveaways that your partner has commitment issues. You can even do your own experiment by presenting them with small commitments just to see what they’re response or reaction will be. Look for these types of signs:
- They are hesitant about meeting your friends and family.
- They are quick to receive any kind gestures from you but slow to give them back.
- They always have an excuse as to why they can’t commit to something.
These are just a few signs to pay attention to but as the “situationship” progresses, and nothing changes, you’re going to have to make a decision on whether or not you’re okay with it. You clearly want a serious relationship so if that’s what you truly want then you need to make that very clear to your partner. Turn that “situationship” into a real and thriving relationship.
What Causes Commitment Issues in People?
Commitment issues can arise in people for many different reasons actually and sometimes it’s not even their fault. For example, if your partner had a parent or someone they cared about, leave them at a young age, that can be an underlying cause of their fear of commitment due to feelings that once they develop feelings for you, you’ll leave them. That can make them not allow you to get too close to them.
On the other hand, some people have a fear of commitment because they enjoy having the freedom to date whomever they want and aren’t ready to give that freedom up yet. You may get to a point where you just need to flat-out ask them what’s the hold-up!
Most Common Types of Commitment Issues Couples Face
Whether you’re in a “situationship” or a full-on committed relationship, a person can still have commitment issues that are hard to shake off. Psychology Today discusses how some people’s fear of commitment can evolve into phobias and really ruin relationships. Take a look at some of the most common ones.
The Fearful Personality Type
This personality type will come off as insecure. Some familiarities associated with this commitment issue type is displays of jealousy and constantly questioning their partner. This person will feel like their partner is always “up to no good” and will be afraid that they’re going to leave them.
The Independent Personality Type
The independent personality type will feel the need to make it known that they are independent and don’t necessarily need you and that they could leave and find someone else very quickly. They won’t put too much trust in someone, nor will they show too much affection. These actions make them hold back and come off as distant even when they’re in a committed relationship.
The Preoccupied Personality Type
This particular personality type is “always” busy. Most of the times, they’re “busy” doing absolutely nothing! If you ask them if they can go to something or do something with you, they can never give you a straight yes or no answer; they’re typical responses are something like “let me get back with you on that,” or “I’m not sure yet,” and the infamous “maybe.”