Don’t ever expect from a narcissist to take responsibility for their actions.
After all, how can you persuade someone who is absolutely convinced they are the definition of “perfect” that they have made a mistake? Probably the only thing you will achieve when confronting such a self-absorbed individual is giving them an opportunity to present themselves as a victim. Does that sound familiar?
If you have interacted with a narcissist at some point in your life, then you know painfully well that these people are the human form of the phrase “My way or the highway.” They want to have control over everything and everyone around them, and they are willing to go to extremes to gain that control. In their minds, hurting someone else’s feelings in the process is a small price to pay, especially when it comes to getting the admiration, praise, and attention they so desperately need.
But what happens when their toxic plans fail? Well, they have that figured out as well.
Whenever narcissists get pushed up against the wall, they always have a plan of how to earn back their dominance in the relationship. Most of them are incredibly intelligent, which helps them twist any situation so that they could benefit from it. Therefore, when you confront them directly about a mistake they have done, they would immediately come up with a plot where they are the victim and all of their wrongful deeds were the result of your actions.
Some of these toxic beings can be so persuasive that they can make you believe in their deceitful words and feel guilty for something you have no control over. If you are a kindhearted, empathetic, naive person, the narcissist would do whatever it takes to take advantage of your tender nature. They would use this kindness of ours to manipulate you into believing that their actions don’t deserve your frustration.
What’s even worse, they would guilt-trip you into thinking that you are the reason for their wicked behavior. They would call you “too sensitive” and would tell you that you’re simply “overreacting… again.” This particular manipulative strategy is called blame-shifting, and it’s enough to drive you crazy and make you believe you are the one in the wrong.
Is it possible to win an argument with a narcissist? In most cases – no!
Unfortunately, winning an argument with a narcissist is often an unreachable goal. That’s because these people have numerous game plans for each situation and each of your reactions. They can use every single word you say against you. And they can do it so diabolically well that they can convince you that they are the victim, not you.
To the outside world, you will be the one seen as the predator, even though you were the one who got hurt. You will be the crazy, obsessive, controlling person who makes them do things they don’t approve of.
But there is always a way to put a narcissist in their place.
You can start by not responding to their evil provocations. Sometimes this can be extremely hard, but if you don’t want to be dragged into their manipulative traps, you must stay strong and sane. Simply put, when you refuse to play by their rules, they will have nothing to hold against you. Only then will you be able to walk away without feeling guilty for things you have nothing to do with.