You learn a lot of things when you finally break free from someone who in the end was toxic, a lot of those lessons were forced upon you by life and others were gradually shown to you over a period of time. Needless to say, cutting them out of your life was the best thing for you to do.
I’m going to share 5 of the lessons I learned from trying to love someone who wasn’t ready for my love:
1. You can’t love someone into liking you
For love to be fruitful it needs to be equally given from both sides. A relationship will not flourish if it isn’t reciprocated. You shouldn’t have to convince someone to love you, they either do or they don’t.
2. Just because there’s good doesn’t mean you should forget about all the bad.
Ideally we’d like to hold onto all the good they’ve done in hopes that it would eclipse all the bad things they’ve done. Sometimes we try and justify the lack of respect for our emotional well being by coming up with an excuse for them but in the end they remain the same.
3. In order to truly love you must love yourself
You cant pour from an empty cup, neither can love be given from a heart that doesn’t truly love themselves. Constantly giving pieces of yourself to someone who just takes without giving anything back leads to places filled with depression and regret. Love yourself first, before you choose to share it with some who doesn’t love themselves
4. Manipulation is hard to recognize when you’re infatuated
Infatuation is a wonderfully dangerous thing. You think you’re in love when actually you’re just in love with the idea of being in love. Therefore recognizing manipulation can be quite hard. You only realize you’ve been fooled once you finally take off the rose tinted glasses.
You see, when you have a kind heart and soft soul you don’t mind doing nice things for people, in fact, you love it! However, there are people who see this and exploit it, its easier for someone to exploit a kind heart when in a relationship and because you’re so bent on trying to make it work you often don’t see them for who they really are.
The lessons I learned will never be forgotten, they are engraved and applied to other areas and people, in my life and for that, I am endlessly thankful.