Ignoring your trauma and acting tough is not the same as healing

Sometimes, while trying to be strong and to go through the challenges life brings us with grace, we force ourselves to suck up the pain and forget it ever happened. But refusing to accept the hardships, or even denying their existence, only leads to bottling up negative emotions that eventually blow up in our faces.

Regardless of how much strength you have within you, forcing yourself to forget the struggles will never help you heal from the damage you have gone through.

Most of us have experienced many distressing hurdles, including heartbreaks, betrayal, abuse, loss, and so much more. And somehow, the strongest ones always find a way to overcome the pain and move on. They keep their heads high, no matter how hurt they might feel inside. However, the fast recovery doesn’t always mean they have healed from the bitterness.

You may think you are over the person who broke your heart. You may convince yourself you don’t miss the friend who betrayed you. Moreover, you may even try to completely erase the moment you were hurt the most from your memory. But let’s be honest: Would this ever help you to truly move on? Would ignoring the problem help you grow? 

When you are doing your best to suppress the pain and make sure the ones around you see you as a strong, self-reliant, fearless person, the emotions you silence gradually pile up. You eventually fall into the trap of the deception you created yourself. At first, you may feel as if your emotional wounds were never real, but sooner or later, the things you are running away from will find their way of catching up. The thought of the trauma you have gone through will always haunt you, as long as you refuse to accept it and learn from the lessons it came with. The demons will never stop coming back. 

The harsh truth is that being reluctant to acknowledge your trauma will only make it more agonizing. 

So, please, stop trying to convince yourself that the problems will go away as long as you don’t talk about them. Understand that one day, they will come back at you when you least expect it. And as they do, you will feel powerless and completely incapable of saving yourself.

However, if you take off the mask of the tough one and admit you are just as fragile as every other human being, you might find a way to defeat your demons. Frankly, facing your fears is one of the hardest things you would ever have to do. It can be utterly petrifying. But it might be the only way for you to set yourself free from the burden of your past traumas. 

There are four simple steps you need to take in order to truly heal. First, you need to acknowledge the issue. Allow yourself to accept the pain and recognize where it comes from. Second, you should let yourself feel all the feelings this hurtful experience coincides with. Take your time to analyze it through the emotions it triggers, whether it’s anger, sadness, or helplessness. Only then will you be able to find peace, which is the third step of your journey to healing. The last one is letting go: of the trauma, of the pain, of the anxiety, of all the negative emotions you were bottling up. This way, you will stop your hurt from entirely consuming you and controlling your life. 

Acknowledge the issue. Allow yourself to feel it. Find peace with it, and with yourself. Let go and be free

This is the simple yet the incredibly efficient path to healing your wounded soul. It won’t happen overnight, but all the hard work will be worth it. All the efforts will eventually help you bloom. You will be able to rise from the ashes and start living your life without being afraid of the demons of the past. And then, your admirable strength, fearlessness, and independence will no longer be a mask but a reality. 

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