How a narcissist comes off as a good person even though they are abusive

Narcissists suffer from a disorder known as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

According to Mayo Clinic, narcissists tend to have an exaggerated sense of self, lack empathy, feel entitled and believe that they are superior to those around them. In relationships, these people tend to be extremely abusive as they often belittle, dismiss and take advantage of their partners. In addition to this, they are unwilling to recognize the needs of those around them and expect unconditional compliance with their own wishes.

Yet, on the outside, narcissists can still come off as good people. 

The truth is that there are very few people who really know the abusive and toxic side of a narcissist. In other words, it is only those who witness or experience their abuse that truly know what they are like. To the outside world, the narcissist’s confidence can be seen as charming and attractive. It is important to remember that they can also be extremely manipulative and for this reason, they can even fool people into believing that it is actually their partners who are the abusive ones.

In addition to this, the narcissist’s victims can begin to seem unstable.

As a result of abuse, victims can react extremely emotionally and thus, they may come off as being unstable (emotionally and even mentally). This kind of reaction is not surprising and can happen when the victim feels belittled, dismissed and hurt by the narcissist. However, those who perceive the narcissist as being charming will not see the reasons which lie behind the emotional reactions of their victims. Instead, they may see them as being unreasonable and in turn, make the victim feel even worse. This has the potential to cause great damage to the victim’s emotional and mental state as they will find themselves feeling misunderstood and alone.

It is important to never forget that things are rarely as they seem. Before you judge someone, remember that you never know what happens behind closed doors. If you are a victim of a narcissist’s abuse, speak up and ensure that you are heard. 

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