Before discussing the reasons why empaths have difficulties to find the right partner we need to clarify what kind of people empaths are.
A perfect definition is provided by doctor Judith Orloff a New York Times bestselling author and a member of UCLA psychiatric clinical faculty. She specializes in treating empaths and sensitive people in her Los Angeles based private practice.
Empaths are highly sensitive, finely tuned instruments when it comes to emotions. They feel everything, sometimes to an extreme, and are less apt to intellectualize feelings. Intuition is the filter through which they experience the world. Empaths are naturally giving, spiritually attuned, and good listeners. If you want heart, empaths have got it. Through thick and thin, they’re there for you, world-class nurturers.
So how come someone who is such a fantastic person to be with could end up alone? The answer is that empaths don’t like dating with a lot of people and playing games as most of us. Being with an Empath when you aren’t ready is dooming the relationship from the very beginning because there is no in-between when it comes to loving such a person – either you can handle them or you can’t.
Below are listed the 10 qualities of every empath which however prevent them from finding a long-term partner:
1. They are too devoted.
Having a relationship with an empath is like jumping off of a cliff. Some might find it exciting and challenging, but others feel afraid and can’t stand the idea. Empaths take things seriously and expect others to act the same way. This is the case because they put their heart and soul when they establish a bond with someone, and for many, it is hard to maintain such a demanding relationship.
2. They are complicated
Most people don’t understand all that comes with being with an Empath. Empaths are more complex than others could imagine. Empaths possess profound personalities, that’s why no matter how well you get to know them there will always be traits of their character you don’t have an idea about.
3. They know what they want.
Empaths have goals. They know what they want and how to achieve it especially when it comes to love. Empaths are aware they need a partner who could help them when they need help and support. So, an empath is not going to pay attention to a person who does not live up to their expectations.
4. They are honest
Empaths value honesty. So, if they want to ask you something they will and will expect that your answer is honest. Although empaths try to be delicate, they wouldn’t accept someone who doesn’t tell the truth and hides things from them.
5. They need to be free
Empaths cannot be put into a box or act the way others expect them to. These people have a free spirit and need to know they can choose what to do.
6. Flings aren’t for them
Empaths avoid relationships that are not meaningful and won’t last. They want a partner who would always be there for them and not just someone to have fun with. Because of that empaths tend to be single more often than others.
7. They take things personally
Empaths feel things much more deeply than most people do. Even the most insignificant problem can depress them. That is why finding a partner who is delicate and would apologize if needed is very important for an empath. In fact, they could only be with a person who treats them with kindness.
Empaths love harder than anyone else in this world. They are ready to give all that they could and expect the same in return. People who fall in love with an empath are in for amazing things.
9. They see other people’s true colors
Empaths have the rare ability to see people the way they are – to feel the best and the worst in others. So they can sense and know when they are cheated or lied to.
10. They want stability
One of the most important things for an empath is stability especially when it comes to their personal life. So they wouldn’t settle for irresponsible, unstable partners who they cannot rely on. That makes finding the one a difficult task for every empath.
In conclusion, what might be said is that intimacy could make empaths even more loving and open to other people yet they find it challenging to meet the right person for them because they have high standards. Nonetheless, things are not that impossible. Below is the professional opinion of Dr. Orloff about empaths and their romantic relationships. The quote is adapted from her book called “The Empath’s Survival Guide: Life Strategies for Sensitive People.”
Good relationships are possible for empaths and can enhance their sense of security, love, and grounding. Marriage or any sacred union needs to be a competition of generosity. Each person is in service to the other, aiming to deepen their devotion, kindness, passion, and love every day. A relationship is a spiritual experience, where you can learn from each other, share your hearts, and take good care of each other. Consideration and tolerance are essential. Empaths will thrive in partnerships where these qualities are a priority, and authentic communication is the goal.