6 reasons why you dream about your partner cheating on you

Having dreams about infidelity is more common than you might think.

Usually, upon waking up and realizing that you have had a gut-wrenching dream about your partner cheating on you, you begin to panic.

You begin to wonder where this dream has come from, if you have anything to worry about, or if you are just being paranoid. In other words, a dream like this has the potential to ruin your entire day. Dream analyst Lauri Quinn Loewenberg spoke to Bustle and explained that this dream is one of the five most common dreams which her clients report. Surprisingly, she claims that despite the discomfort which they evoke, these dreams can actually be helpful:

Whatever the case may be, the cheating dream is good for you because it is shining a light on an issue in your relationship that needs to be corrected. […] Once you are able to connect the dots between the cheating dream and the issue that triggered it, you need to work to correct it. 

There are six things a dream about infidelity can stem from:

1. You feel insecure and afraid that you are not good enough.

Naturally, this is the most obvious explanation behind such a dream. If you feel insecure and you fear that you are not good enough for your partner, these feelings can give birth to disturbing dreams which reflect these fears. In order to stop – or decrease the frequency of – these dreams, you need to have an open and honest discussion with your partner regarding the way you feel. While this can be a difficult and uncomfortable conversation, admitting your insecurities and receiving reassurance can be extremely helpful.

2. You have been cheated on before.

If your partner has previously cheated on you, your dreams might indicate that you have not managed to forgive them. In this case, you will need to work harder on rebuilding trust or walk away if you cannot forgive. Alternatively, you may have experienced infidelity in a previous relationship, and dreaming about it could mean that you are afraid your current partner will cause you the same kind of pain.

3. There is someone – or something – getting between you and your partner.

This does not necessarily have to be somebody that you suspect your partner might be interested in. In fact, Loewenberg explains, ‘this could be a friend of theirs, their job, a baby, or anything that makes you feel “cheated” out of the time you feel they owe you’.

4. You feel betrayed.

Simply feeling betrayed after an argument could result in dreams about infidelity. If your partner took somebody else’s side when they usually have your back, your brain’s interpretation of the betrayal you feel can take the form of a dream in which they cheat on you with someone else.

5. You have been trying to ignore signs that they are cheating. 

Loewenberg says that sometimes, ‘cheating dreams indicate a subconscious belief that your partner really could be cheating’. This does not stem from a fear of infidelity but rather from suspicions that you try hard to ignore. If for the past few weeks, you have been noticing your partner acting differently but you do not want to believe that they might be cheating, you could be suppressing these thoughts. When we are asleep, however, we become vulnerable and incapable of suppressing them; as a result, our subconscious beliefs come to the surface in our dreams.

6. Your partner is not aware or does not care that they are hurting you.

If you dream about your partner cheating on you, being caught, but not caring at all, then this might reflect their lack of awareness or concern for hurting you. Maybe they did something which upset you in the day and they are unaware of the extent to which it upset you. Alternatively, they may have made you feel as though they do not care that they have upset you. Either way, Loewenberg explains that you should voice your concerns and tell your partner how they have made you feel.

Ultimately, your dreams can give you important insight into your thoughts and emotions.

Your dreams will always serve as a guide to every part of your life, letting you know what is wrong and what is right, what direction to take and what direction to avoid. […] Look at your dreams as your second brain that is much wiser and much more honest with you than your waking brain.


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