5 ways to tell if you’re dating an avoidant partner(and 5 things to do about it)

Does your partner have an avoidant personality?

You can easily tell this by paying attention to the way they react to certain things. For instance, if they tend to distance themselves whenever things get rough, and they find it hard to talk about their emotions, they most probably are.

Some people get anxious and feel as if they are pushed against a wall when they have to face their problems. They prefer to avoid dealing with their issues, which is a behavioral pattern that often affects their relationships. If that sounds relatable, keep on reading.

Are you dating an avoidant partner? Here are 5 signs to help you find out: 

1. They have a hard time expressing their feelings.

Avoidant people, in general, find it extremely difficult to be open about their feelings and emotions. This trait of theirs is a severe obstacle for the communication process in a relationship. If your partner is avoidant, they probably deal with stress and fear that stand in their way of being able to properly communicate when it comes to facing serious problems.

2. They act like they don’t need help. 

Suchlike people never ask for help. They feel as if someone gives them a helping hand, they would be in debt to this person. The thought of owing someone something, which implies they would become co-dependent, triggers their anxiety issues. Instead of accepting help, they prefer to suffer in silence.

3. They can’t handle negative emotions.

If you are dating an avoidant partner, then you are well-aware of this trait. Whenever it comes to dealing with negative emotions or issues in your relationship, instead of acting like adults, they distance themselves. This is some sort of a coping mechanism, in which they keep themselves away from the hardships because they fear their fragile mind might not be able to handle them.

4. They are afraid of commitment.

Avoidant people wish for establishing genuine connections with others just like we all do. However, they don’t really know how to act in an actual relationship. Due to their fear of commitment, they evade putting labels on their romantic bonds. This will make them feel dependant on someone else, which is a feeling they definitely don’t want to have.

5. They handle grief differently. 

Unlike most people who become deeply emotional when they experience the loss of a loved one, those with avoidant personalities act differently. In such moments, they suppress their feelings and pretend to be stronger than they actually are. While this may make them appear as people who handle grief exceptionally well, deep inside they are simply avoiding facing their true emotions.

How can you manage your relationship with an avoidant partner?

Take a look at these 5 things you should have in mind:

1. Be mindful when it comes to compromising.

Compromises are extremely important for sustaining a healthy relationship. Both of the partners must be willing to take a step back for the sake of their happiness as a couple. But if your significant other has an avoidant personality, you should be careful. Sometimes, when there is something they should do, but they don’t want to, they tend to feel as if their independence is at risk. To make sure they don’t get the wrong impression, you simply must show them that their agreement will be beneficial for both of you.

2. Encourage them to practice self-care.

You can’t fix your partner’s problems with a magic wand. This is something they should work on themselves. Your job is to support them and encourage them to keep trying. You are the person they trust the most, so they would definitely listen to what you have to say. They are battling demons of their own you would probably never truly understand, but this doesn’t mean you can’t be there for them. In fact, you can contribute immensely to their wellbeing by simply helping them understand the importance of self-care.

3. Be patient. 

You will surely need a lot of patience with an avoidant partner. It is in their character to pull away whenever they feel uncomfortable. In such cases, pursuing them and not leaving them space will only make them distance themselves even more. The best thing you could do is be patient and let them come to you.

4. Bond through activities. 

Enjoying different kinds of activities is one of the best ways you and your avoidant partner can strengthen your connection. This will help you establish a relationship based on trust and bring you closer to one another on a deeper emotional level.

5. Be aware of what to expect. 

If you are willing to make things work, you should adjust your expectations. However, this doesn’t mean you should selflessly do everything to please their emotional needs. It means that you should concider that you two have different views about the concept of a healthy relationship. This fact should only encourage you to work harder on intensifying the connection you have.

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