What one perceives as cheating, another might not.
We all know that cheating refers to infidelity and disloyalty in relationships and marriages. However, not all people agree on what actions and behaviors are considered as cheating. A 2013 study conducted by the University of Michigan asked 456 participants to rate 27 different behaviors from 0 – 100 (where 0 and 100 mean definitely not cheating and definitely cheating, respectively). Unsurprisingly, sexual intercourse was given an average of 97.7 as the majority agreed that this is seen as cheating. Furthermore, Huffpost listed the following actions and their rankings:
- Kissing on the lips: 88.7
- E-mailing pictures of themselves naked: 88.2
- Texting erotic messages: 82.6
- Sleeping in the same bed: 68.4
- Holding hands: 63.2
- Forming a deep emotional bond: 52.4
- Sitting in lap: 52.2
- Going out to dinner: 41.4
- Sharing secrets: 36.5
- Hugging for more than 10 seconds: 34.5
Why do people cheat?
Five people (whose names have not been given to protect their privacy) shared the reasons why they cheated on their partners.
#1. J.B., Los Angeles, CA:
I think that the way I grew up is what prevented me from maintaining a normal relationship. I had a traumatic childhood. My parents got divorced when I was 2 years old and by the time I was 18 my mother had already changed 6 different men and had another 2 divorces. I just didn’t believe that true love actually exists. I was starting abusive and unsatisfactory relationships. I cheated on my partners and justified my behavior with their flaws and bad behavior towards me. Yet it was me to blame for not believing that I was worth being truly loved.
#2. S.M., Chicago, Illinois:
I had one unsuccessful marriage when I was 25 and since then I haven’t stopped cheating on my partners. The fact that my marriage had failed, hurt me deeply and made me build defense mechanisms to protect myself from suffering again. Here is why I couldn’t stay faithful to the other men in my life. Hurt people will hurt other people and I am no exception to that. I was thinking that if I cheated I wouldn’t feel that bad when my partner betrayed me.
#3. J.P.P, Perth, Australia:
I was responsible for everything – the housework, the children, the fact we hadn’t had sex for months. He was always busy with his career and was hardly ever cared how I felt. I even thought he was cheating on me but he just wasn’t able to pull his weight in the relationship. That’s why after years of loneliness I cheated on him. I didn’t mean to but it just happened and the sad truth is I felt so good. For the first time in many years, I felt beautiful and desired by someone. I have been seeing other men ever since. I don’t want to spoil my family because of the kids and the fact I still love my husband but I need more than what he is giving me.
#4. S.M, San Fransisco, CA:
Sex was one of the reasons to fall so strongly for my girlfriend. At the beginning of our relationship, I just couldn’t get enough of her. But after some time I had to admit the bitter truth – the magic between us had gone away. She had stopped attracting me and еven made me feel bored and unhappy in bed. So I started an affair hoping to improve my sex life. I know I betrayed her but I deserve sexual satisfaction. I still enjoy doing things with my girlfriend but, the sex is not working out for me anymore. So I am thinking of putting an end to our relationship very soon.
#5. D.P.P, Toronto, ON, CA:
As crazy as it may sound it was the thrill of nearly being caught that made me start cheating. I needed something to spice up my boring life. I hadn’t planned it the first time, but I felt amazing especially because my husband could have come home at any moment.
Everybody cheats for different reasons although, more often than not, they cheat because they simply feel as though there is something missing. According to psychologists, those who cheat tend to do so because they have a deep need to feel noticed and appreciated.
In any case, there are millions of different reasons why people might decide to cheat. The question is, will their partners be able to forgive them?
