Dating a narcissist means being subjected to abuse and manipulation.
Narcissists are people who have an exaggerated sense of self-importance and believe that they are entitled to special treatment. Those with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) think that they are superior to everyone else and see nothing wrong in using people to get what they want. It follows then that being in a relationship with someone who lacks empathy can be detrimental to your mental and emotional wellbeing. After being exposed to narcissistic abuse for a long period, it is normal to need some time to heal. Unfortunately, people who have not experienced such abuse cannot understand how you feel; therefore, when they offer advice telling you to move on, they are doing more harm than good.
There are 4 myths you should never believe.
1. You should forgive your narcissistic partner.
If people constantly tell you that you should find it in your heart to forgive the one who hurt you, you might find yourself wondering why you cannot do so. It is perfectly normal to feel incapable of forgiving the abuse you have been put through. Rather than trying to forgive someone who put you through hell, focus on giving yourself the care and love you deserve. One day, if you feel that you are capable of doing so, you may forgive them. If not, do not let the world make you think you are cruel. You are the only one who knows exactly how traumatic your relationship was.
2. You should stop being angry.
Many people will say that the anger you feel will only harm you. While it is true that anger is a negative emotion, you are allowed to feel it. Instead of trying to let go of your anger, learn how to control it. There is nothing wrong with feeling angry when you have been brutally hurt by the one person who should never have hurt you at all. Gradually, the anger will subside and disappear.
3. You should have left sooner.
Blaming yourself for the abuse you experienced is the last thing you should do. More often than not, people do not even know that they are being subjected to abuse. In addition to this, it is important to note that narcissists are skilled at manipulation and deceit. In other words, even if you did try to leave, they would have simply manipulated you into staying. Narcissists make empty promises and sometimes threaten their partners to ensure that they will stay. People who have not felt the abuse of a narcissist will never be able to understand why you could not have left. You are not at fault.
4. You should stay single for a few years.
While it is undoubtedly true that you must take some time to heal, everybody heals at different speeds. Go at your own pace and ignore what everybody else says. If several years go by before you learn how to trust again, that’s okay. If you’ve found someone new within a few months after your break-up, that’s okay too. Do not let people’s opinions dictate how you live your life.
Remember, you have all it takes to heal.
Take your time and be kind to yourself.
