Do you love them or are you in love with them?
According to relationship expert and professional life coach Kemi Sogunle, “We often loosely use the word “love” and we mix being in love with actually loving someone.” To avoid hurting yourself or your partner, you need to understand the key differences between these two things. Otherwise, like many people, you might find yourself in a relationship with someone you love but are not in love with.
There are 3 key differences between being in love and loving.
1. Being in love means putting them first.
When you love someone, you want them to be happy. You support them, encourage them, and hope for their success. However, this does not mean that you would make serious sacrifices to ensure their happiness. When you are in love with someone, you are prepared to do anything it takes to see them happy. This is because their happiness is directly linked to yours. In other words, seeing them unhappy breaks your heart. Being in love with someone means making sacrifices and putting their needs first without any hesitation.
2. Being in love means wanting to be together.
Speaking to Bustle, certified counselor Jonathan Bennett explained that people who love their partners feel like they have to spend time with them “out of obligation or habit and prefer being elsewhere.” If you are truly in love with your partner, you will want to spend quality time with them, Bennett clarifies.
3. Being in love means not being able to live without them.
You can love somebody without wanting to spend your entire life by their side. Commenting on this, Dr. Josh Klapow told Bustle: “If you find yourself caring for your partner but not desiring them, caring for your partner but not needing to be close to them, caring for your partner but not wanting to share with them, you may love your partner but not be in love with them.”
