20 things I still can’t figure out in my 20s

You know that feeling when you are looking for an adult to handle the situation, and realize you are the adult? How about when you’re little, and you think that 20-year-olds are mature people and have it all figured out? Yeah, that’s not completely true.

Here are 20 things I still don’t know in my 20s, even though I’m supposed to be an adult now.

1. I don’t know how to let go of what people think of me.

It’s really hard not to be bothered by what others think of me. We all need the approval of others at some point. Especially in this age, where most of the people value appearance over personality. Hopefully, in the next few years, I will fully master the art of not giving a damn about others’ opinion.

2. I have no idea what love actually is.

Yes, I have been in love, or at least I thought I was. However, as a twenty-something person, I can’t be sure that what I’ve experienced was indeed love at its fullest. Perhaps, to understand completely such a complex and captivating feeling, you need some more time and experience.

3. I don’t know what to do with my life professionally.

No one in their 20s knows what they want from life. I make no exception. Do I want to be a writer, a designer, a famous rock star… Who knows? Definitely not me. The one thing that calms my anxiety when I start thinking about my future in a professional way is that I’m still young, and I have plenty of time ahead of me. Unfortunately, that thought won’t be accurate forever.

4. Why can’t I do everything?

It’s really hard for me to accept that I can’t do everything. I can’t see all the places I want, I can’t do all the things I want to, I can’t afford to do it all anyway. This is the stage of growing up when I realize life is not so magical as it was when I was little.

5. How the hell do I pay my taxes?

There should be a life class in school, where they teach us how to handle taxes, manage our budgets, and deal with grumpy landlords. Plus, how are we supposed to look for jobs, when no one explained to us the process and the requirements of employment? Sure, I can check some YouTube tutorials, but hearing this stuff from an experienced person would be way more helpful.

6. I have no idea how to budget money.

Honestly, I’m really bad with budgeting. Like, I’ll spend half my salary in the first week of the month and then eat instant noodles every other day, to save money for my rent. And every time I tell myself: “This month it will be different.” Yeah, right. It’s always the same. If only there were a magic formula I could follow to learn how to manage my money well…

7. I won’t accomplish everything in my 20s. And that’s okay.

For some reason, we, the twenty-something-year-olds think that life ends after reaching 30. We push ourselves to go to college, university, start the job of our dreams, buy a house, create a loving family, travel the world. This is too much for only one decade, and I do need to understand that.

8. I don’t know where I want to live.

Settling down is indeed something in my plans before reaching 30, but where? Having the opportunity to choose where you want to live is amazing, but at the same time, it’s awfully overwhelming. Should I stay where my parents are? Should I go somewhere completely new and excitingly unknown? No idea.

9. Do I want to buy a house?

Sure, I want to eventually settle down and have a family of my own, but is now the right time? As I mentioned, I have no idea where I want to live. Today I might want to stay in a small house in my hometown. Tomorrow I might decide I want to go on a year-long trip around Europe. Hopefully, this indecisiveness will fade away with time.

10. I don’t know how to accept change.

I do know that change is inevitable, but it happens too damn fast. Sometimes I wish life just stays the same because honestly, change can be pretty scary. I understand that without change there’s no improvement, but some of these changes are just too much.

11. I have no idea how to forgive myself for all the mistakes I’ve done.

Everyone has a past, and we have all made some serious mistakes in our lives. I am aware of that. It’s just that people over 30 seem to have it all figured out. Perhaps I need a few more life lessons until I learn how to forgive myself and move on.

12. How do I take my own advice?

Usually, in my friends’ group, I am the person others come to, whenever they need a good piece of advice. Meanwhile, my life is a complete mess. I guess I don’t believe myself enough to follow my advice. It’s always easier said than done, isn’t it?

13. Nothing lasts forever.

How are you in peace with the though nothing lasts forever? Because I have no idea how to accept it. So, you’re telling me, that my puppy will grow old and pass away? That my beautiful face will soon be full of wrinkles? That at some point I won’t be able to pull an all-nighter and feel okay the next day? It’s all too much to take right now.

14. I don’t know how to start going after I want.

How does one get brave enough to start going after their goals? Perhaps I have no idea where to begin, mainly because I’m still not completely sure what I want from life. Or because starting this journey will lead to fundamental changes, and as I mentioned before, I am kind of afraid of changes.

15. I can’t understand why people stay in unhappy relationships.

How can you insist on staying in an unhealthy relationship, especially when you’re in your 20s? I mean, you’re still young, and you still have time to find someone who will genuinely love and respect you. All the time I see people my age who stay in toxic relationships, just because they’re afraid of letting go, and it breaks my heart.

16. I don’t know how to let go of lost friendships.

It’s just so damn hard to let go of people who you really care about. Unfortunately, in my 20s, I lost a few friends, and I still struggle to find the strength to let go of those friendships. Yes, I know we all move on to our own paths, but wouldn’t it be nice to know you have friends who will always be a part of your life?

17. How to find the perfect balance between ‘yes’ and ‘no’?

If you are like me, then you struggle to say ‘yes’ to adventures and ‘no’ to someone who needs help. I really feel the need of finding a balance between those simple yet crucial answers. Or maybe the confidence to respond however it suits me, rather than always trying to please everyone else but me.

18. I don’t know how to take proper care of my skin.

Fortunately, my skin is not problematic, but I know I still need to take care of it. However, I have no idea how to do it. Sometimes I even forget to take off my makeup before bed, which I know is completely damaging my pores. Yet, somehow, my skin is still behaving well, but I know I need to take proper care of it.

19. Why people are so damn mean to each other?

Another thing I can’t understand is why people are so mean, and constantly try to drag each other down. Perhaps their lives are not complete, and they feel good when they see somebody suffer, who knows. I feel like we often forget how to be empathetic and why it is so important. After all, we are all aiming towards some form of happiness, and in my opinion, no joy comes from such a negative place.

20. I don’t know how to learn to love myself.

Everyone says “Love yourself first”, but no one says how to do it. And sometimes, loving yourself can be the hardest thing ever. Do you think there is a final destination with this self-loving, or we continuously have to work on it?

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