10 warning signs you are dealing with a bitter person
“Bitterness is a result of clinging to negative experiences. It serves you no good and closes the door to your future.”
Is there someone in your circle whose constant cynicism drains you out? Are they always pointing out the negative side of things, overlooking the benefits? If your answer is “yes,” you are most probably dealing with a bitter person whoсе toxic influence is crushing everyone in their orbit.
However, there are ways you can protect yourself from their bitterness.
Here are 10 of the most revealing signs of bitter people and how to handle them.
1. Bitter people are vocal about their struggles.
This is probably the most obvious sign you are dealing with a bitter person. They are almost never quiet about the anger they hold inside of them. In fact, they take every opportunity they have to spill their bitterness onto others and let them know how unfair life can be. Even if you were in an amazing mood before interacting with them, they are capable of taking the smile off your face, replacing it with a frown just like the one they have.
To evade falling down to their level of toxicity, either avoid their presence or let them know just how bitter they sound. They might be completely oblivious to how awfully grouchy they behave.
2. They hate to see others happy.
If you are a positive person and you tend to always see the good in every situation, someone with a bitter personality would absolutely hate you. That’s because these grumpy individuals cannot stand cheerful people. Seeing someone happy, especially in situations where being cheerful seems unlikely, disturbs them deeply. It increases their bitterness to the point where they want to take away that happiness and make you feel as miserable as they feel.
But allowing such a bad-tempered individual ruing your mood would only make them feel as if they have won. Instead, be as positive as you can be around them, and let them know that not everyone has the same negative perception of life as they do,
3. Bitter people are utterly cynical.
Those high in bitterness are convinced that everyone in their life is against them. They usually see themselves in the role of the victim. In their minds, nothing ever goes right because there is always something or someone standing in the way of their happiness. There is always something that doesn’t allow them to succeed. If only they knew this something is their own mindset…
4. They are the most ungrateful people out there.
Expressing gratitude is a positive trait. Therefore, it doesn’t fit with a bitter person’s individuality. Even when they have been blessed with wonderful friends, a loving family, a loyal partner, they would still feel cheated by life. They have the self-destructive habit to always see the negative side of things while overlooking all the amazing things they should be grateful for. Thankfully, this crooked mentality can be fixed with a little kindness and a lot of patience.
5. Bitter people always find something to complain about.
The weather today is preposterous. The morning traffic was absolutely horrible. The boss always comes up with the most ridiculous demands. The children are being awfully annoying. The old lady in the grocery store was acting terribly rude. There are so many things a bitter person can complain about. Even when there is nothing they can point out, they somehow find a reason to whine.
Unfortunately, this toxic behavior can be contagious. That’s exactly why you should be careful when interacting with such a sad individual, as they may instill bitterness in your mind too.
6. They constantly hold grudges.
Holding a grudge can eat you alive. Bottling up negative emotions inevitably takes a toll on you. It makes you feel constantly on edge as if the whole world is against you. And usually, the person that makes you feel that way has no clue of the way you perceive things. They are living their happy, careless life, without giving a damn about how you feel. So you might as well let that go and move on with your life. The bitterness and the obsession you hold on to so desperately hurt no one else but you. Tell that to the bitter person in your circle to let them know that there is more to life than holding grudges.
7. Bitter people are jealous.
As already mentioned, those high in bitterness are convinced there is always something standing in the way of their happiness. Besides, they hate being around positive people. That’s because they are incredibly jealous of their bliss. Deep inside, they wish they were as happy and cheerful as the ones they resent. When a colleague or a friend of theirs shares details about their recent promotion, their new home, or their exciting holiday, a bitter person would usually start pointing out the downsides of these experiences.
In their envy, they would want to make the other person feel less pleased with their positive experiences, only because they wish it was them who got the new home, went on that lavish trip, or got a bigger paycheck.
8. They are prone to making sweeping assumptions.
Bitterness often blurs a person’s vision, pushing them into making biased generalizations about people they have no relation to. Instead of showing empathy or making an effort to get to know someone before they judge them, bitter individuals jump to conclusions based on little to no knowledge of the background of the situation. As they say, never judge a book by its cover. Sadly, carrying prejudices is all grouchy people do.
9. Bitter people are masters at blame-shifting.
It’s always someone else’s fault. You can almost never convince a bitter person that the unpleasant circumstances they are facing resulted entirely because of actions of their own. Even if you try, they would find a million ways to persuade you of the opposite. Taking responsibility for their own mistakes is something they rarely do, especially when they can blame it on someone else.
However, if you are fully convinced you had nothing to do with what went wrong, don’t be afraid to stand your ground. Accepting the blame just to make them shut up will only give them the opportunity to use you as a scapegoat once more.
10. They can never be happy for someone else.
Bitter people hate seeing someone else happy, so, naturally, they cannot be glad when another person is succeeding. Your contentment is worth nothing to them, even if you believe you have a close connection to them. Unless you are a boss they have to impress, they would never lift a finger to congratulate you on all the efforts you have put in achieving your goals.
Luckily, it is not your job to balance out their negative emotions. If you two are actually close, you can try to explain to them how their lack of appreciation affects your bond. If not, just let them be bitter and focus on your personal growth with or without their recognition.