10 behavioral patterns of bitter people and how to cope with them
If you’ve ever lived with a bitter person, then you definitely know how challenging it may get.
The negative energy they emit can be incredibly overwhelming. Whether it is a family member, or even worse, our romantic partners, we sure need some advice on how to handle their nearly unbearable behavior at times.
Below are listed 10 personal traits of bitter people and some efficient ways you can cope with them.
People who constantly feel bitter believe that everything around them works against them. They feel like life is always tricking them. Their glass is always half-empty, and even if they have a great experience, they cannot express gratitude. That’s because no matter how many wonderful things are happening to them, they are always looking for flaws and things that might turn wrong.
If you’re dealing with an ungrateful person, remember that they aren’t bad by nature. They are only feeling overloaded with emotions they cannot manage. Patience and empathy are your best friends in this situation.
Bitter people often use intense sarcasm to express their thoughts, which often turns into cynicism. Talking to them sometimes feels like there is not a single thing in this world that can make them happy. This type of attitude can be a real mood-killer, right?
So, what you can do to handle their cynicism is to give them time and to not take their negative notes too personal. It may take them a while to trust you, as they are guarding their emotions incredibly forceful. Remember that they weren’t born bitter, there was something that made them this way. Therefore, you need to be understanding towards them, without letting their bitterness bring you down.
3. Holding grudges.
It’s quite common for bitter people to be holding grudges. That’s because they cannot simply let things go and move on. Instead, they often become obsessed with their grudges and forever despise the people who’ve wronged them.
Coping with such behavior can be really difficult. But one thing is for sure, you shouldn’t agree with their assessment of other people. When they show you they want to vent their anger, you should feel free to tell them you disagree in a calm but firm voice. You should let them know that holding grudges makes them feel bad, not the person or the situation they’re furious about.
This behavioral pattern can also be observed in the bitter people’s personalities. As they feel like the whole world is against them, they can often get jealous of others who seem to have it all. For instance, when their co-workers are scoring achievements at work or in life, bitter people can experience severe jealousy and even try to undermine the other person’s success. They just can’t stand seeing someone happy while they’re feeling more than miserable.
Unfortunately, there is not much you can do in such a situation. Just keep your accomplishments for yourself and avoid sharing personal information.
5. Vocally expressing their bitterness.
Sour people can hardly ever keep their bitterness for themselves. They want everyone to know how unfair life is towards them. It sometimes appears as if they want people to see how miserable they are and to feel sorry for them. Oftentimes when they’re expressing their negativity, their presence can be quite toxic to be around.
When a bitter person tries to be vocal about their feelings, especially if you’re close to them, bring up to them the way they sound. They may not realize the toxicity that comes out of their mouth and their impact on the ones around them.
In quite a lot of situations, bitter people present themselves as the perfect partner or the perfect parent. Whenever there are problems at work or in their personal life, they always have someone else to blame for their struggles. They easily shift the responsibility on others without even thinking twice about it. It’s always their partner, their colleague, their parents, their family, the weather, but never them.
If someone is trying to blame you for something they have done, refuse to accept the blame. Show them you stand your ground, and you will not accept being blamed for something you didn’t do.
Bitter people are constantly complaining about something, aren’t they? Nothing seems to be ever right in their life. It’s always too sunny or too gloomy outside. The traffic is always horrible, and the radio puts on the worst songs when they’re driving. Their relatives are the most annoying people on Earth. There is always something that irritates them, regardless of the situation they’re in.
One thing you can do to cope in such moments is to avoid triggering their sense of irritation. If you already know what pushes their buttons, just skip mentioning it, so they don’t overwhelm you with numerous complaints about it.
8. Hating on positive people.
Trying to cheer up a bitter person is far more difficult than it may seem. These people are always prepared for a striking backlash to anyone who tries to express their positivity around them. They simply hate being around cheerful people, when at the same time, they’re feeling deeply depressed by their own existence.
What bitter people need is to understand that not everyone is like them. Not everyone responds to different situations in the same negative way as they do. However, this doesn’t mean you should block your positivity when you’re around them. Don’t let their negativity crush your own happiness.
9. Not being able to congratulate others.
This personal trait of bitter people has a lot to do with jealousy. Telling someone a simple ‘Congratulations!’ is not usual for them, as they would rather roll their eyes and undermine this person’s success. Of course, they sometimes have their moments of being happy for someone else, but only if this someone stands above them careerlike, or if they are going to gain something out of it. But typically, that’s not the case.
If you and the bitter person you have in mind while reading this have a decent relationship, you should point out this negative trait of theirs. Being happy for someone else is not a weakness, and sour people need to understand this. The reason why they usually don’t is that they often cannot see their reaction from a different perspective, and no one has ventured into their bitterness to point out the truth to them.
10. Making sweeping assumptions.
Bitter people usually make generalizations about other people or situations. They are used to putting labels on everyone they come across while carrying prejudices and being awfully judgemental. Sadly, they don’t understand how this hostile behavior of theirs could be extremely harmful to their own mental and even physical health.
To cope with such an unpleasant personality trait, again, you need to be empathetic. Only kindness and a lot of patience will help you handle a bitter person. And once they drop their guard, you can finally show them how their negative behavior has impacted their whole lives, and help them fix the damage.
Indeed, dealing with a bitter person is challenging. However, it is never impossible to break their walls and show them that life doesn’t work against them. Instead, it works in their favor, as long as they open their eyes and hearts to see it.
Luckily, no matter how strange it may seem, bitter people attract cheerful ones who are willing to do anything possible to put a smile on their face.
Do you know someone who is constantly in a bad mood and quite often prefers to undermine someone’s accomplishment, rather than be happy for it? How do you handle them when just being around them feels incredibly unbearable? Share your experience with us in the comment section!