Dating a narcissist is like being pushed and pulled over and over again.
It disrupts your entire perception of what’s real and what’s fake. You eventually reach a point where you don’t even know whether you can trust yourself or not.
Could your partner be a narcissist? Are you in love with a self-absorbed human being with zero sense of empathy?
Here are 10 signs you’re in a relationship with a narcissist:
1. They isolate you from everyone else.
By alienating you from everyone else in your life, narcissists make sure that they have 100% of your time and attention to themselves. And when they have that, they can easily make you do whatever they want. Having no one else to talk to will make you entirely dependent on them. Therefore, they will be able to control you as much and as long as they desire.
2. Everything must be about them.
Narcissists are pathological attention-seekers. They are able to make every conversation about themselves, even when they are not part of the discussion. Being in romantic relationships doesn’t stop them from thinking and talking only about their personal achievements, needs, and aspirations. They firmly believe that the world revolves around them and nothing is powerful enough to convince them otherwise.
3. The first impression is a lie.
At first, narcissists resemble charming, intriguing, intelligent people who appear to have everything in their life figured out. However, with time, you realize that this facade couldn’t be further from the truth. Eventually, they reveal their true colors and start treating you horribly. But until you see their actual intentions, it is often too late to simply walk away.
4. They are experienced manipulators.
Giving you the wrong first impression is not the only manipulative thing narcissists do. In fact, they are so skilled at messing up with others’ minds that you will never know where it has all came from. And if you are in love with them, manipulating you will be They will simply play with your feelings and use them as an excuse every time you try to oppose them.
5. They gaslight you.
Narcissists will often make you doubt yourself and your perceptions. This is called gaslighting, and it happens when someone gets so deep under your skin that they make you question your reality. By manipulating little, almost unnoticeable details of your life, they can convince you that you are the mentally abusive partner in the relationship – not them.
6. They disrespect your boundaries.
There is no such thing as boundaries for narcissists. Instead of respecting your personal limitations, they will cross the line as often as it suits them, without bothering to consider how their actions make you feel. Every decision they make will be based on what they desire in the particular situation. Your needs will be met, only if they match theirs. Otherwise, they would do whatever they want, without even thinking about how this would affect you.
7. They are short-tempered.
Whenever things don’t go as they wish, narcissists tend to get frustrated within seconds. They strongly believe that their perceptions are the best ones. So if someone dares to defy them, they will instantly let this person know who they are messing with. In such moments you can actually see their true colors – the colors of someone who is unable to control their emotions and wants everything for themselves.
8. They can’t let you in, even if they wanted to.
Typically, narcissists create a fake persona for themselves with all the qualities they believe others will admire. They present themselves as strong, independent, brilliant-minded individuals who are as praiseworthy as the flawless superheroes who always find a way to save the world. But underneath that person, there is an anxious little soul that’s too afraid to face its demons. Portraying themselves as superior is more important to narcissists than dealing with the inner issues they are struggling with. Therefore, they will never be able to let anyone in, as this will put them in danger of having their true nature exposed.
9. They cut you off as easily as they drag you in.
Being in a relationship with a narcissist is like taking a ride on a neverending rollercoaster. They drag you into their world, completely extinguish your identity, alienate you from everyone you love, and then they cut you off as if nothing has happened. The second your presence stops being beneficial for them, they will forget that you ever existed. But if you try to break up with them before they have decided they no longer need you, be prepared for experiencing their wrath upon yourself.
10. They run away from responsibility.
Narcissists are glad to take credit when something goes right and even exceeds everyone’s expectations. However, they avoid taking responsibility for their actions like the plague. They would put so much effort into not being held accountable for their mistakes, that they would even try to blame everything on you. And the sad part is that they would most probably succeed in convincing you that you were the one who pushed them in the first place.
Now that you have figured out whether your partner is a narcissist or not, there are some things you must do.
First, you should gain more knowledge on the subject. Find out what narcissism is and how does it affect the one who has it and those around them. The more you know, the better chance you have of avoiding becoming a narcissist’s victim.
After that, you need to reflect on your relationship. Are you willing to fight for your love, or do you want to get out of there as soon as possible?
If you chose to stay, you might have the possibility to convince your partner to seek help. But if it all seems like a dead end, you should be a little selfish and do what’s best for you, even if it means letting go.