You need a partner who will support you, not judge you
Is your partner supportive or judgemental?
The way your partner reacts when you confide in them and say that you want to pursue your goals and dreams is key. Do they offer support or do they judge you, try to change your mind, and force you to do the opposite ‘for your own good’? To have a healthy and fulfilling relationship, you need to find someone who will support you, not judge you. According to Annie Lively, a writer for The Power of Silence, these are the characteristics of a supportive partner:
1. They know your dreams and help you achieve them.
No matter how big your dreams may be, a supportive partner will acknowledge, encourage, and constantly push you to achieve them. They will be there to lift you up when you begin to doubt yourself and your ability to accomplish your goals, reminding you that you have all it takes and that the effort will be worth it in the end. In contrast to this, a judgemental partner would advise you to give up: they will say your dreams are unrealistic, impossible, and they will discourage you from doing your best to succeed.
2. They make time for you instead of making excuses.
When you are in trouble, in need of someone to talk to, or a shoulder to cry on, a supportive partner will drop everything they are doing to be there for you. To them, it will not matter if the thing that has upset you is big or small – all they will know and care about is that you are upset. A judgemental partner, on the other hand, might judge your reactions and say that they do not have time to help you deal with the issue. Alternatively, they can even lie and come up with excuses as to why they cannot come to support you.
3. They encourage your lifestyle changes.
Lively explains that you should ‘find someone who will support you when you want to lose some weight after the holidays, or when you decide that you need to change your lifestyle’. In this case, the key difference between a supportive and judgemental partner is how they perceive your decision to change your lifestyle. For example, a supportive partner will encourage you to lose weight – not because they think you should but because you want to. They might even offer to eat healthily or exercise with you so that you do not feel alone. In contrast to this, a judgemental partner might dismiss your wish to lose weight simply because they think you do not need to. They might mock, discourage, and even claim that you do not have the willpower to do so.
4. They do not make you feel like you need to impress them.
When you find a supportive partner, you will not worry about how you look in the morning when you are tired, cranky, and frankly speaking, a mess. What is more, you will not be afraid to confide in them when you are feeling low because you will feel loved and supported even on your bad days. You will not worry, as you would with a judgemental partner, that they might judge your appearance or your behavior.
A supportive partner will never want to change you. They will stand beside you and have your back when times are difficult and you need encouragement. No matter how big your dreams may be, they will encourage you to work towards them because to them, your happiness is just as important as their own. At the end of the day, when both people are happy, the relationship flourishes and thrives.