Have you ever sensed that you are being lied to even when the excuses and explanations you are hearing seem reasonable and believable?
Sometimes, it is better to listen to the voice inside your head and trust your gut instinct. Ignoring these feelings or alternatively, ignoring red flags and convincing yourself that your partner is being honest can end up causing you tremendous pain. Evangeline Grace’s story is a perfect example of why you should follow your instincts instead of blindly believing the lies your partner feeds you.
Two days in, he was calling her his girlfriend.
Evangeline Grace shared her story on Mamamia, describing how she met her boyfriend Damon. She wrote that they met on a Friday night outside a nightclub and spent the night together at her place. The next morning, he had made her breakfast: blueberry pancakes drizzled with maple syrup. By Sunday, he was calling her his girlfriend and by Monday, he had become evasive. He had left to go to work early on Monday and avoided answering Angie’s questions about seeing each other again. Trying to get some information out of him, Angie continued:
“So where’s your workplace? Will it take you long to get there?” I asked, trying to keep him talking as long as possible.
Damon hesitated. Stuttering slightly, he named a location, claiming it wasn’t too far away. Then he said he had to use the bathroom.
Why would he hesitate and stutter at something so straightforward?
An alarm began going off in Angie’s head as she thought he must be hiding something and before she knew it, she was going through his wallet, looking for a business card. Of course, as expected, the location he had given her did not match the one written on the card. Nevertheless, she began convincing herself that there was an explanation: ‘Maybe these are old business cards […] Maybe the information on them is out of date’. Even so, the little voice inside her head told her to take a card and keep it just in case. Damon came out of the bathroom, kissed her, and promised to call her soon. Naturally, Angie turned off the alarm and persuaded herself that everything is fine.
He disappeared for two months then lied about his father’s death.
Angie waited and obsessed over the promised call. Instead of giving up, she continued to wait, reassured by the texts she would receive every week or so: “I miss you so much! I’m sorry… it’s been manic here. I’ll be in touch soon. D xxx”. Angie continued to wait and call even though he never answered. Finally, he showed up at her doorstep with an explanation: his father had died two months ago, the day he had left her place on Monday. He had been in so much pain, he had isolated himself from everything and everyone he knew so that he could process his grief. Of course, Angie’s heart broke from him and she forgave him. That is until his phone rang and Angie read ‘Dad’ on the screen he was trying to hide from her.
I froze, my fork halfway to my mouth. “Damon. I thought your dad — ?”
“Shit!” he interrupted me, scrambling to his feet. I’d never seen a man’s face redden so fast.
I could hear the blood pounding in my ears. “What the heck? Your dad’s alive? Damon, wait!”
But despite my questions, cries, and subsequent yells, Damon left with no explanation.
Deciding to follow him, she found out he had a wife and children.
She had tried calling him over and over again but Damon never answered. Angie realized he had probably blocked her number and so she decided to confront the truth in another way. Remembering the business card she had taken, she went to the address and waited for him. Upon seeing him get into his car and drive off, she followed him home and faced the truth:
Damon pulled into a drive outside a well-lit, warm-looking house. He exited his car, and the front door of the house opened. A small girl ran out to greet him, squealing: “Daddy!” Behind her, a tall, slender woman appeared in the doorway, bouncing a baby on her hip. She watched and laughed while Damon swung his daughter round in the air. Carrying his daughter back up the drive, Damon approached the woman in the doorway and kissed her. The family stepped into their cozy, illuminated house. Then the front door swung shut behind them.
Angie explained that she was aware her behavior was questionable.
The woman wrote that she knows following your partner is a gross violation of their trust and privacy; however, she notes that in her case, the end justified the means. She explained that facing the truth and reality allowed her to let everything go and to finally set herself free.
Ultimately, the takeaway here is definitely not to follow your partner if they are acting suspiciously but rather to listen to your instinct.
To ask yourself: ‘How can he already be calling me his girlfriend just two days in? Why is he avoiding telling me the address of his workplace? Why has he strung me along for two months without a single phone call? And what kind of person would lie about their father’s death?’ All in all, learn to step back the minute that you sense something is wrong. Take control before you suddenly find yourself looking through his wallet or following his car on the freeway.