Our upbringing influences not only the way we view the world but how we see ourselves.
When we are young, we cannot recognize or understand that our parents’ behaviors might be toxic. Therefore, it is only once we enter adulthood that we realize what we have endured as children. When this happens, we might feel lost and confused as we question whether or not our parents ever truly loved us at all. We begin to read between the lines, attempting to comprehend how their words and actions have influenced us.
There are 8 signs you were raised by a toxic parent:
1. They made you feel like you were never enough.
No matter what you achieved and what you did, they were never proud of you. Instead, they only pushed you to do more and be more. Growing up, this made you feel like you disappointed them because nothing you did was ever good enough.
2. They never gave you privacy.
Toxic parents disrespect their children’s boundaries and invade their privacy. What is more, they never allow them to spend time on their own. In turn, the child is left feeling overwhelmed and even ashamed of wanting to spend time alone.
3. They never let you talk about your feelings.
To have a healthy parent-child relationship, both should feel free to voice their thoughts and feelings. When a parent does not let their child communicate their feelings, they risk making them believe that they do not matter.
4. They lashed out at you when you were not at fault.
Many toxic parents use their children as punching bags, taking their anger out on them when they have done nothing wrong. Of course, this is abusive and it has the power to leave the child emotionally scarred.
5. They blamed you for everything.
When things went wrong, the family would use you as a scapegoat. Scapegoating is an abusive manipulation tactic whereby someone innocent is singled out of a group and blamed.
6. They were never there for you.
Your parents are supposed to be the people you rely on most. They are supposed to be the ones who are by your side no matter how difficult things get. If your parents were never there for you, they were toxic.
7. They never made you feel safe.
As a child, your parents forced you to do things that made you feel afraid and uncomfortable. Moreover, they did not care about how they made you feel. As a grown-up, you have trust issues and you are incapable of being vulnerable.
8. They put their needs before yours.
Toxic parents neglect their children’s needs and leave them wondering how to fend for themselves. Although this has taught them to become independent and self-resilient at a young age, it has also made them feel like they do not matter.