Love should be a two-way street.
Partners should be willing to give as much as they expect to receive back if they want to make things work.
But to a narcissist love is all about objects, sex, and power. It’s also about hoarding pleasure and causing pain to stay in control.
And the main factor that keeps women imprisoned in such toxic relationships is their avoidance to believe or even consider the reality that a narcissist is incapable of genuine love.
So how can we tell the difference between love and a narcissistic illusion?
Here are 5 ways to know.
1. He would never ask you to do things you feel uncomfortable with
He would respect you and your wishes and would never ask of you anything that makes you feel uneasy. But if it’s an illusion, he will do whatever he pleases and will try to push you into believing that’s what you want as well. And he will be so convincing and charming that you’ll be willing to believe him.
But deep down in your gut, you know what feels pleasant and what makes your stomach turn.
If your man is after the latter, you are living in an illusion that is slowly making you ill.
2. He would never make you choose between him and your family or friends
If he truly loved you, he would accept that those closest to you are part of who you are with pleasure.
But a narcissist illusionist will slowly make you lose touch with your loved ones. He will want to alienate you from your support system and make you believe you don’t need it at all because in his mind he is the only person you’ll ever need.
His ultimate goal is to distance you from all those dear to you and he will not stop until it’s done.
So break the chains he put on you and choose your family and friends over the egomaniacal narcissist.
3. Your happiness would be his happiness
Those who genuinely care about you would be thrilled with joy when good things come your way. A narcissist, on the other hand, will try to look proud and happy, but you’ll be able to understand that it’s all fake.
Even though he’ll put on a fake smile, his eyes won’t be able to hide the emptiness he feels.
And at that moment you will know for certain what you’ve been internally denying all this time. It isn’t love… it’s just carefully played illusion.
4. He would treat you with kindness
When you’re in love with someone you do everything to your abilities to preserve their happiness and well-being at all cost. But things are different if your relationship is an illusion.
He will hurt you and make you feel wrong while pretending to do something for your own good. And even if he assures you that he means well, it’ll never feel that way.
While his words will certainly be kind, his actions will be mean and disparaging.
5. He would show you empathy
One of the most defining characteristics of a narcissist is their lack of empathy and inability to relate to other people’s feelings.
Does he show concern when you’ve had a bad day at work or if you’ve just had a fight with your friends or parents? Or is he getting bored when he sees that you express frustration for one reason or another?
His inability to empathize, or sympathize with you is a clear sign that it’s not a loving relationship you’re involved in, but a narcissistic illusion.
Have you ever had to put up with any of these narcissistic behaviors? Share your stories with us in the comment section below.