11 Dead Giveaways There Is A Toxic Person In Your Life
Toxic people can have a seriously damaging impact on your life. The first step to detoxing from their poisonous personality, is to recognize the warning signs of a toxic person.
We all have encountered a toxic person in our lives. The damage they inflict can take a toll on our mental health, as well as our physical.
While most substances that are considered toxic have an immediate effect, toxic people are different. Their toxicity can take months to seep into your life, and the signs can be difficult to spot right away.
In order to help you stop the damage before it starts, here are 11 dead giveaways of a toxic person in your life:
1. They Never Have Anything Nice To Say
Sure, we all have someone who gets on our nerves or rubs us the wrong way, but a toxic person feels that way about everyone. Even people they have never met before. You could mention how talented your child’s new art teacher is, and they will immediately give you five reasons why they “aren’t so great.”
2. They Are Selfish And Disregard Your Feelings
Toxic people love to test your boundaries. In friendships and relationships, they will constantly put you in uncomfortable positions just to prove your loyalty. They will interrupt you when you’re speaking to the point of talking over you, and they will always expect you to change your plans to suit them whenever they need.
3. They Have No Compassion Or Empathy
Unless it suits them, of course. The only time you will see a tender, compassionate side of a toxic person is when they want something in return. It’s never genuine. Eventually you learn to be weary of their smiles and “kind-hearted” gestures.
4. When You Are Around Them, You Feel Unhappy
Toxic people suck the joy out of everything, including the people who choose to hang around them. When you spend time around one of these people, you start to feel your light fade, and your sparkle dims. Toxic friends and family members only want to be around others who join in on the ugliness and meanness, so if you find yourself struggling to play along, you should leave. No one needs to be around someone who brings out the worst in them.
5. They Have No Long Term Friends
Is there one person who really knows them? Or are all of their friends recently acquired? The truth always comes out in the end, and toxic people can’t wear their masks forever. If there’s not at least one person who has been in this person’s life for a while, and who can say they really know them, then they might be a toxic person.
6. They Attract And Spread Drama
Every day brings a new story of woe from these people. Toxic people seem to be incapable of avoiding drama, and they certainly spread it wherever they go. As author Hannah Martin writes, “you’ll often find that a toxic person thrives on drama, and will dwell excessively on any negative experience that befalls them – cementing their victimhood and sucking the positive energy from those around them.”
7. They Can Never Be Happy For Others
Did you finally get that promotion you worked so hard for? Did your loan get approved for the new house? Did you nail that three-tier cake you were worried about? Toxic people do not care about your accomplishments, and they will not share in your joy. In fact, they become bitter and jealous whenever anyone has something good happen in their life.
8. They Gossip About Everyone
So you know they talk about you too. Every chance they get, a toxic person will bring up “what they heard the other day,” or “something they saw.” Chances are, the version you hear is a twisted and inaccurate representation. The thing is, because they are always discussing others in such a negative way, you know that as soon as you leave, your name is the topic of choice with their next “friend.”
You might know the truth about something, and even if you confront them, you won’t get an honest answer from their lips. Toxic people are manipulative and they lie every chance they get. They will make up stories, and paint themselves as the victim whenever possible. Learn to take everything they say with a grain of salt.
10. They Never Take Responsibility For Their Actions
Professionals at placing the blame, a toxic person will never take responsibility for their own actions. They didn’t get this or that done because of someone else. It is always someone else’s problem, and if you are the one nearest to them at the time, it will be your fault. So it’s best to keep a distance.
11. You Feel Like You’re Stuck With Them
Even if you have thought about leaving a toxic person before, you might have hesitated. Toxic people have a way of making you feel like you are stuck with them, and can never leave. They are experts at manipulation, and you probably have mutual friends in common, which plants a seed of fear. What if they say horrible things about you? What if they convince others that you’re the bad guy?
The truth is, we are all strong enough to leave, and we are powerful enough to walk away. No one deserves to be around someone who is toxic, or manipulative.
Once you realize someone in your life is a toxic person, you need to create healthy boundaries, and stick to them.
Hannah Martin says, “don’t let a toxic person erode your boundaries for their own gain. Work out what is important to you and make sure you don’t budge on it.”