Do you feel exhausted and unappreciated after doing everything for your children?
If so, then stop doing everything for them. Encouraging children to do things on their own teaches them self-confidence and boosts their self-esteem. What is more, it teaches them independence and appreciation. It is unlikely that a child will magically learn how to appreciate everything that you do for them when they have no idea how much effort and time it takes.
Parents all over the Internet share their struggles and explain how hard it was for them to go from doing everything for their children to teaching them how to do it themselves.
For example, one mother explained how it is so much easier for her to clean the bathroom herself than to listen to her children moan and complain about having to do it. In addition, doing it herself will take a lot less time and be more efficient. Nevertheless, she explained, doing it instead of them solves nothing.
In fact, doing everything for your children creates more problems. Yes, the children might complain and nag but at the end of the day, they learn how to become independent. Furthermore, by taking the time and putting in the effort to do something that is otherwise done for them, they grow to appreciate the work you put in.
Doing everything for your children results in what some refer to as “learned helplessness”.
Before doing something for your child, ask yourself: Can they do it on their own?
More specifically, ask yourself this question when it comes to chores such as taking out the trash, picking toys up off the floor and packing lunch. Although these may seem like very small tasks which can be done quickly, adding up all of these “small tasks” can end up draining you. Professor’s House comments on this as they write: “A three year old should be able to put on his or her own shirt and pants, and should be able to brush their teeth and feed themselves”. If a parent insists on doing these things for their child – even when they are old enough to be capable of doing them on their own – they are doing more harm than good.
In other words, you are unintentionally making your child feel like they cannot do things on their own – even when in reality, this is not the case. Consequently, you run the risk of raising a child who will grow up to feel dependent and unsure of their abilities. Therefore, by making them do certain things on their own, you are doing both yourself and your children a favor; that is, you will feel less exhausted and more appreciated while your children grow to become more and more independent.
