Functioning as a healthy part of society sometimes might feel like a highly difficult and challenging job for some of us out there. Furthermore, that could leave people feeling as though they do not fit in with the rest who presumably hate or dislike them (even when that is not true).
Those who possess such a thought process have the tendency to think they are ‘isolated’. Due to this circumstance, social events or situations including big groups of people fuel the anxiety of ‘people looking at them badly or talking about them in a negative manner’ even more.
Overanalyzing is a common response in such individuals, as they always try to find out the hidden meaning (mostly criticism or rejection) in people’s actions towards them.
Anxious people are inclined to believe the worst in every situation. Even in simple life circumstances such as waiting a bit too long for a text back, anxiety has a way of making its presence known, urging the person to assume: “They don’t want to talk to me. They are ignoring me. They are annoyed with me. They hate me”.
The escalation can happen quite rapidly, as exemplified above. So, it is safe to say that anxiety might leave a person experiencing a total of three key things:
The urge to overanalyze
The mentioned anxiety leads to a complex and very unnecessary over analyzation of every single detail of every situation. It isn’t of significance if the person you wanted to go out with really has to work until late today. That won’t be believed for a second. Moreover, you would believe that they are lying and secretly do not want to see you.
Many other examples could be listed here in terms of having infinite disbelief in people’s intentions and inner thoughts- from the simplest to more complex in life. However, it is for sure that this behavior is unhealthy for you, as it gets in your way of acting freely, without hesitation, thus allowing for situations in life to happen to you.
Being locked in the mindset of ‘everyone hates me’ and dissecting your every move, as well as those of others, is a complete waste of mental resources you could be putting in something that would actually be of service to you.
Feeling the world is against you
Consequently, the aforementioned aspect leads to the second one: believing the whole world has ganged up against you. Expecting negative outcomes of situations that could potentially allow such is again a form of exhausting, unnecessary mental gymnastics. Optimism seems to be a hard task for somebody who has lived through multiple occasions of embarrassment or awkward moments.
While that is understandable, of course, allowing such instances to rule over your life is indeed a disadvantage for your general well-being. Furthermore, it robs you out of the plethora of opportunities out in the world, as you would most probably find yourself caged in a never-ending cycle of social insecurity and isolation.
Doubting you self-worth and struggling to see your value
In turn, the constant doubt of self-worth is to be an expected consequence. The more one plays into the hand of the devilish circle of uncertainty, doubt, and insecurity- the harder and more inconvenient social interaction becomes with time.
Therefore, people struggle with believing they are loved, sought after, etc. Moreover, they have difficulty processing compliments as authentic while simultaneously trying to conscientiously find out in what way people are trying to fool them or hurt them.
This is due to the inner narrative of: “Why would anybody want something to do with me?”. This inevitably puts a persons value into question while emphasizing potentially “million” flaws one might (or might not) have.
So, here is a list of things to remember if/when you happen to feel like this:
- The worst-case scenarios you tend to imagine in your head are most probably not the reality.
- It is your inner insecurities that might be isolating you, not the people you feel dislike you.
- Outgrowing some old friends does not mean new friends aren’t in your near future.
- Feeling lonely one day or a couple of days here and then is not the same as being completely alone in life.
- You are not always going to feel this way forever, even if it feels like it sometimes.
- You are not the only one who believes no one cares. It is actually more people than you think. However, do not let that get you down.
You are worthy of being loved (despite what your anxiety tells you).
Actually, you are already loved.
If someone tells you (and shows you) they care about you, believe them.
Do not let your doubts (that people may be lying) get in the way of potentially healthy relationships and/or friendships.
Do not let fear rule your life instead of you.
End the bad habit of thinking about people who do not value you as much as you did them. You deserve so much more.
- Having a small group of friends is nothing strange. It’s rather completely fine and in order.
- And always remember that eventually, you are going to find someone who feels like home.