The 3 telltale stages of a relationship with a Narcissist

Narcissists can almost never sustain a healthy romantic relationship.

Their intense sense of self-importance, combined with their lack of empathy, does not allow them to consider someone else’s feelings. In their minds, their personal needs will always be more valuable than those of others, and, sadly, their significant other does not make an exception.

If you have ever been in a relationship with a narcissist, then you have definitely tasted the bitterness of being with someone who cares only about their own comfort. It’s truly heartbreaking to love someone capable of loving only themselves.

On the other hand, if you suspect your partner may be a narcissist, but you are still not sure whether it is their personality, or you are simply jumping to conclusions…

Here are the 3 most common things narcissist do when in romantic relationships:

1. Showering you with compliments.

At the very first stages of your relationship, a narcissistic partner would do everything in their power to make sure you feel appreciated. They would shower you with compliments, make sweet romantic gestures, and take you to places you have never been before. They would act considerate, kind, generous, sincere, funny, and would forge all kinds of indications that they are someone you can trust and rely on. This process is often referred to as “love-bombing.”

During the love-bombing phase, a narcissist would ensure they provide everything you look for in a significant other. They would claim they have never seen anyone else like you. They would try to convince you that they have never felt so deeply connected to someone else, that you are the most exceptional human being they have ever laid eyes on, that you are “the one.” And, of course, they would tell you that they are nothing like your past partners, they would never do anything to hurt you, and would absolutely never lie to you.

Unfortunately, all of their words would be entirely focused on making you fall in love with the person they paint themselves to be, not the one they truly are. Because their real self is far more dangerous than they want you to know.

2. Questioning and devaluating your worth.

The previous stage was intended to make you feel emotionally attached to your narcissistic partner. Once they sense you have developed deeper feelings, they initiate a phase of devaluation. The second they realize you have become dependent on them, they start using making subtle, yet incredibly manipulative tactics to turn you into their servant.

Putting you down, belittling your accomplishments, and claiming you are being “too sensitive”  are only a few of the things a narcissistic partner would do to make sure you are under their control. Eventually, you begin questioning your worth and losing trust in your own decisions.

Throughout this stage, a narcissist’s only goal is to weaken you. They wear you down only to make you easier to manipulate. And the worst part is that the moment they see you are trying to oppose them, they instantly return to the love-bombing phase to make sure you won’t leave them.

One thing is for sure – narcissists cannot stand to be single, so they would do anything to keep you under their spell.

3. Getting rid of you.

Suddenly, completely out of nowhere, a narcissistic partner would show you they don’t want to be with you anymore. Their decision would be completely unexpected, as nothing from their behavior would have indicated such intentions.

However, they wouldn’t do it directly. Instead, they would start blaming you for every single issue in your relationship. They would make you feel guilty for not giving them enough attention, not showing them enough respect, not considering their feelings. They would begin acting as if you were the narcissistic one in your couple.

In case you decide to beg them to change their mind, they would, again, turn the situation in their own favor. Seeing you are desperate for their recognition, the narcissist would immediately think of ways to squeeze you even more. In the event that they have already become involved with someone else, they would probably reach out to you only when they get bored with their new toy. If things between them don’t work out, they would return to you only until they find someone else. And because you have developed such strong dependency, you would overlook their wrongdoings and take them back as if they never hurt you.

Being in a relationship with a narcissist is undeniably detrimental.

It crushes your ambitions, ruins your perception of self, and turns you into a victim. It usually happens so subtly that you don’t have the chance to protect yourself from your narcissistic partner’s cruel mind games.

However, there is one thing that works to your advantage. Narcissists typically follow patterns you can easily predict, similar to the abovementioned three stages. You can take that knowledge and use it to break free from their vicious trap.

Have you ever been in a relationship with a narcissist? Are you in one now? Share your experience with narcissism in the comment section to help others by raising awareness!

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