Narcissists can (almost) never sustain a healthy relationship: 5 reasons why
Narcissism and true love can exist simultaneously only when it comes to self-love.
That is why a relationship with someone high on narcissism can be emotionally detrimental, as you will never receive the same level of devotion you give.
Those suffering from Narcissistic Personality Disorder(NPD) usually have an incredibly high sense of grandiosity and self-importance. They believe there is not a single person in this world who has the same powerful combination of beauty, intelligence, and influence they possess. Hence, they often behave arrogantly, fully convinced of their superiority.
A person so self-absorbed and egocentric can never truly commit to a relationship. There will always be something much more important than preserving and improving the strength of their romantic bond. The love they have for themselves will always prevail over the love they have for their partner.
Here are 5 reasons why you should never fall for a narcissist, despite their undeniable charms:
1. There is no “US”, only “ME”.
Being in a couple means forgetting about selfishness, egoism, and greed. You are no longer concerned solely about your own needs – you need to take care of your partner’s as well. And if it means you have to take a step back and prioritize their happiness, you must do it. Meanwhile, they should do the same for you. There needs to be a mutual connection built on love, compassion, and devotion.
However, if one of the partners is a narcissist, this mutuality can never be achieved. Those high on narcissism have zero sense of empathy, meaning that they cannot be moved by their significant other’s pain. This makes it nearly impossible for them to understand why and when they need to make a compromise and put their loved one’s contentment before their own. Therefore, they are unable to adopt the “us” mindset required for a healthy romantic relationship, as they are only concerned about their own needs.
2. Narcissists don’t trust anyone else but themselves.
We all have trust issues. Many of us have been played by people who never valued the secrecy of a romantic bond. Narcissists, however, struggle with trust issues not because they have been hurt, but because they don’t consider anyone to be as competent and as intelligent as they are. In their minds, everyone else, including their partners, is inferior to them.
Another reason why those with narcissistic personalities don’t trust others is that they associate trust with vulnerability. They fear that by confiding in someone, the weaknesses they so desperately try to hide from the world might be exposed.
3. They give only to take away.
Since narcissists are incredibly manipulative creatures, they are capable of controlling your emotions in a way that would benefit their needs. One minute they might be showering you with compliments, affection, and all the attention you have ever dreamed of, while the next, they might be giving you the cold shoulder and pretend you don’t exist. And the only reason they do it is to confuse you to the point where they become in charge of your reactions, feelings, and emotions – not you.
4. Narcissists are prone to abusive behavior.
Manipulating their partner’s feelings and gaslighting them to get what they want is abusive enough to avoid relationships with narcissists. However, the emotional abuse they practice is not the only threat a narcissistic spouse may hold. According to a Kent State University research study, “Narcissistic men are also more likely to commit domestic violence because of their egocentrism and lack of empathy.” Female narcissists are also known for their tendency of initiating physical violence.
Although most people who are prone to abusing their loved ones are not necessarily narcissists, there is a high chance your narcissistic partner might become aggressive if their needs have not been met.
5. True love is (almost) never in the picture.
In general, narcissists are capable of loving only one person, and that person is themselves. They can never experience what it feels like to love someone else truly, passionately, and all-consuming. Since relationships require mutual respect, compromises, proper communication, and so many other things a self-absorbed person can never comprehend, loving a narcissist can be beyond the bounds of possibility.