Being a mother and a wife means being stressed, overwhelmed, and drained.
Even though the times we live in are very different from what they once were, there is still a significant gap when it comes to equality within gender roles. With both parents working full-time jobs, the responsibilities, stresses, and chores pile on. Unfortunately, while many men do help their wives at home, women still bear most of the caretaking and household responsibilities. According to an exclusive TODAY Moms survey of over 7,000 mothers living in the US, the average mom rates her stress level an 8.5/10. Moreover, 46% of moms explained that their ‘husbands are a bigger source of stress than kids’.
Why are husbands such a big source of stress?
1. They are more like an extra child than a partner.
TODAY reported that mothers and wives see their husbands as big children rather than adults who can help them. One mom admitted, “A 7-year-old is going to be a 7-year-old. But a 35-year-old acting like a 7-year-old is more stressful, because they should know better”. In addition to this, dads are often known to help by playing with the children while moms are working, cooking, cleaning, etc. Although husbands help by being there for the children, women still end up feeling more exhausted, stressed out, and overwhelmed as they are left with the more draining work.
2. They do not pull their weight when it comes to household chores.
Many men come back home from work and claim that they need to relax because they have had an exhausting day. Similarly, women also come back home from work and state that they are exhausted. However, instead of trying to relax like their husbands, they begin to work on the endless list of household chores. They cook, do the laundry, clean the kitchen, and tidy up the house. Doing all of this on your own is overwhelming and exhausting – especially when you need to take care of human beings at the same time. TODAY’s survey further found that for this reason, most mothers feel like they do not have enough hours in a day to finish all of their work. One mother explained “Even though I have a committed spouse, I still feel like all the pressure is on ME to get everything done. I work just as many hours as my husband does, but yet I do all the scheduling.”
3. Marriage is stressful.
Putting children aside, marriage is stressful enough on its own. According to Hal Runkel, an Atlanta-area therapist and a married father of two teens, “marriage is a more difficult relationship than parenting”. Marriage and partnerships take a lot of work, time, and effort. They require patience, sacrifices and compromises. Therefore, it is not surprising that when you add children into the mix, everything becomes even more stressful. Speaking to TODAY, a mom confessed, “my husband is a really great dad, but I do find marriage to be stressful. I’ve had to put so much energy into my marriage”.
Does your husband also fuel the already overwhelming amount of stress you have in your life?
