Despite what the film industry would have you believe, love is messy and complicated. People drive each other crazy, fight, and sometimes do incredibly stupid things. And it is all part of being human.
However, when you’re with the right person, some qualities simply shine through. Regardless of how annoying your partner can become, taking a step back to see the big picture can be of crucial importance for deciding whether the relationship is right for you.
Let us look at five signs of true love that prove you’re with the right person.
1. You make voluntary sacrifices
When we’re in love, we are all-too-willing to help our partner, no matter the circumstances. And this is a crucial component of a happy love life. Psychologist Theresa E DiDonato Ph.D. refers to these sacrifices as “costly commitment signals,” defined as “behaviors that require substantial sacrifice, perhaps in time, emotions, or financial resources – e.g., driving a partner to an appointment or giving a gift.”
In comparison, the lack or absence of “commitment signals” in a relationship is merely an addiction, lust, or apathy. No matter which one, love is almost certainly non-existent.
2. You cannot imagine your future without them
When your boss offers you the promotion you’ve been waiting for, do you think about your romantic partner? Are you thinking, “Will she/he be able to get a job transfer as well and/or come stake out a nice new apartment with me?” or do you simply start thinking about a nice studio apartment you can decorate to your own taste? How about children? Do you see your unborn children in your partner’s eyes or is it a big no? If you constantly think of a future your honey is a part of and cannot imagine one that excludes them, that’s a fantastic sign.
3. You feel like the luckiest person alive
You have been extremely fortunate to find a person who you can experience true love with. Whether it is for a day, a year or for the rest of your life, you feel like this is what romantic stories should really be about and that the person you become thanks to true love is the best and most authentic version of yourself.
4. Your relationship takes priority above all else
Real love brings us in touch with ourselves, our purpose in life, and our sense of a deeper meaning. It shows what does and does not work. When we make our relationship a priority, we always find time to set aside for it. We find ways to make it better. We cherish and nurture it more than anything else in our life. We don’t let other people or negative situations invade what we hold most dear and we protect it like a precious gem. And, of course, our partner feels the same way.
5. You are immensely attracted to this person
Some people may say that love is not about physical and sexual attraction, but solid research shows that passion, sexual desire, and sexual acts enhance intimacy and closeness, promoting bonding or attachment to a love partner (Birnbaum and Finkel). It is known that sex is a binding mechanism and is part of the experience of consummate love.
Of course, love does not look the same for all of us, but these pervasive trends portray what scientific evidence suggests many of us experience. Differentiating between emotions reflecting of passion and the kind of love that constructs a foundation for a long-term relationship is not hard, but research shows that passioned love may become sustained love when it is accompanied by substantive compatibility, a supportive social network, and commitment from both sides.
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