The worst thing about manipulation is that in many situations we don’t even realize it’s happening to us.
Manipulators twist thoughts, actions, and desires to their own liking and mold us into servants of their own needs. Needless to say, this can be quite frightening.
Here are some of the biggest signs that you are being manipulated.
1. They are always the victim – you are always the ‘bad guy.’
The manipulator will constantly try to make you out to be a bad person, while they hide their own guilt under the veil of victimhood. When they happen to cause you pain they will twist reality to make it seem as if you’re guilty of something even if you aren’t. And the more you try to set the story straight, the more they will twist the facts.
2. They push you to make hasty decisions based on emotion
Manipulators understand that quick, underthought emotional decisions are a key tool for them to get what they want. If you aren’t given enough time to consider the pros and cons of something, or if they manage push you into making a hasty decision, they win. Stand your ground by saying things like “give me some time to think about it,” and the manipulator will most likely lose interest.
3. Their actions don’t match their words
Those who seek to manipulate you will say the things you want to hear but they will never back their words with actions. They will say one thing and do something completely different, making you wonder what on earth is going on. The more you put your hopes in them, the more disappointments you will come to taste.
4. They use your insecurities as a weapon against you
The manipulator will seek your company in order to learn about your strengths and weaknesses. They do this because it is a shortcut for them to gain more control over you. They will use your deepest secrets and insecurities to bring you down when you become an obstacle.
Gaslighting is a tool manipulators use to make you feel like you’re going insane. They do a number of shady things such as pretend they never said a specific thing, pretend you never told them things, twist the truth, leave out information, re-invent the past to their own liking, make you think like you don’t remember things, and make you question your own mental wellbeing. At one point you will start being suspicious of your own brain, and this is where you might start thinking “I need my partner to keep me in check”…
6. They always make sure to remind you about your promises
“You promised” is a great sentence that will force you to do anything the manipulator tells you to, even if your gut feeling tells you to go against it. We all want people to think of us as people who keep their promises. No one wants to be seen as a promise-breaker. You must always be fully aware and clear about what you are promising so that they cannot blackmail you later.
7. They are constantly giving you ultimatums
The manipulator is never willing to make compromises for you. To them, it’s always ‘My way or the highway.’ The more you try to level the playfield the more they will pull in the other direction.
8. They do a lot of flattering
Complimenting is the manipulator’s most precious weapon. After all, if you are such a great and wonderful person, how can you say no to their humble request, right? They use this method to get what they want from you. Watch out if someone starts to flatter you out of the blue and it starts feeling weird!
Have you ever dealt with a person who uses these manipulation tactics? How did you deal with them? Let us know by joining the conversation in the comments and please share this article if you’ve found it of value.