Relationships are not easy and when you aren’t happy, it can be hard to tell what the causes are and what needs to be changed.
At times it is simply a matter of opening up to your other half about your concerns, while at other times it may be necessary to take a break to get your thoughts straight.
It can hence be difficult to tell whether you’re unhappy in your relationship or just unhappy in general.
Here are some of the signs you may have found yourself in an unhappy relationship:
1. You don’t think as highly of them as you once did
One of the biggest signs that divorce is on the horizon is when couples start rolling their eyes at each other because this simply demonstrates they have lost mutual respect. If you secretly think your spouse is not as smart as you, is immature, is nagging too much, has terrible values, or isn’t deserving of affection, eventually it’ll come out. They even might be suspecting something and already feel bad about themselves because of it.
You deserve a person who you feel is on your level, and they deserve someone who appreciates them for who they are, so you’re both wasting your time when you’re settling for unhappiness.
2. You don’t feel like you can be yourself
Can you recall all those things you passionately discovered about each other when you first got together? The way you made each other feel, and the things that made you fall in love with each other?
If they don’t make you feel the same way anymore, it isn’t the end of your life. And if they make you feel uncomfortable about being yourself, then you are only being dragged down, and it’s up to you to decide how to handle that.
You need to be able to be comfortable in your own skin. This means being comfortable with the way you look, you move, you talk and all other things that make you unique.
If the person who is supposed to love you doesn’t make you feel good about being yourself, you know it’s time to have a talk or even move on if things cannot be helped.
3. You cannot stop yourself from spying on them
Mutual trust is crucial in any relationship. And the only way to get that trust is through mutual respect.
If you are spying on your partner, it’s because you’ve lost trust in them.
It’s normal to have doubts, and it’s perfectly ok to investigate anything that looks out of place but be aware that data collection is just half of the investigation.
If you find yourself uncontrollably snooping around and questioning everything they do, there clearly is a trust issue between you two and the relationship is likely headed for the hills.
4. You cannot find moral common ground
It’s not uncommon to fight over little things, but fights in a healthy relationship should end with at least one person admitting they made a mistake and resolving to do things differently in the future, or with both people realizing that each of them was at fault. If your arguments can be summed up as one of you saying “that is morally wrong” and the other saying “no, that is perfectly alright; you are the sinner,” there is not much that can be done to help it. You’ll never get to the point where one of you admits they were in the wrong if they don’t truly believe it. You should be able to adapt to each other’s values and find common ground in order to keep the peace.
5. You imagine a happier future but your partner isn’t part of it
If you find yourself imagining a happier future without your partner time and time again, it’s a clear sign that you do not enjoy their companionship. You are simply unhappy and you need to get out for your own and for their sake.
Your other half should be part of your dreams. And there is nothing wrong with wanting a happier future.
But if you’re not at least imagining a trip together, then why are you still in that relationship?
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